002; Video;

[andblockbuster]

 So there's been a lot of talk about censuses and lists and mutinies and... Throwing people out of airlocks and I guess there's, like, a robot Civil Rights movement or something, and it's a lot to take in. But here's an idea. Why doesn't someone with way too much time on their hands make a newsletter. Great idea, right? That way, the people who are actually avoiding most of the drama in this place- because the last time they got involved, they ended up in a room with two corpses- could keep up with all the gossip. Just a thought.

[PRIVATE//UNHACKABLE: EAMES]

Hi. You don't know me, but I'm a, uh...  friend of Ariadne's. Maybe she's mentioned me. Topher? Topher Brink? Neuroscience guy? Anything?

Comments

[player_not_slayer]

Why not a newscast, bro? This is the future, who reads anymore.

[Ew, reading things that aren't either gun magazines or nudie mags.]

[andblockbuster]

Find me someone here who can deliver a witty spin on all the top headlines, and that would be the best idea ever.

[player_not_slayer]

Dunno anyone offhand, but there's a Comm division around here right? Maybe they have someone.

It'd be a couple different kinds of sweet to have a way to keep track of all this shit right after or while its going down.

[andblockbuster]

Plus we are just so lacking in the entertainment department. Why not be informative and engaging?

[player_not_slayer]

Seriously, man. Its like television never caught on in space around here.

Or video games.

[Seriously. Most futuristic tv shows and movies at least had holodecks and simulators. Why'd he have to get stuck on the one ship in the universe? universes? whatever, that didn't have anything cool like that.]

[video]

[saint_kitten]

Aren't you a precious thing.

[ It's said with fondness, though--have one Saint Kitten thrown your way, all blonde curls and Irish accent and looking strangely like Capa. ]

Paying attention to this silly little device helps.

[audio]

[testgasm]

Is there--is there something wrong with robot rights?

[notpanicking]

I might be able to manage that.

[player_not_slayer]

Hope you've got something more witty to bring to the table than your last little 'special report', sister. Because that was a snoozefest.

[Don't mind Simon, he's a dick by nature.]

[andblockbuster]

I swear I heard someone mention a holodeck. Or a... Generic brand holodeck. Or, like, a Danger Room or something. But that might have been wishful thinking and every time I try to find anything here... I end up in the Labyrinth. Getting to the kitchen is, like a-a quest or something.

[andblockbuster]

Simon's got a point. We're looking for Colbert, not Couric.

[video]

[andblockbuster]

[....]

And this is why geniuses shouldn't be allowed to get bored. This happens. Not that I'm judging! That is actually a really good look for you, Capa.

[notpanicking]

Good luck in your search.

[audio]

[andblockbuster]

If they're being persecuted or treated like slaves, but, uh, aside from Kara, is anyone really oppressing you? And even she's just... Being that racist who sits on a porch with a shotgun. Y'know, mostly harmless, but in a really scary way.

video.

[swagneto]

What next, would you like us to feed you notes every time someone says something?

[ Because the whole device thing would really save a ton of time, you know, Topher! ]

[kleptoluckiac]

You mean someone like you?

[ hmmmm???????? ]

What have you been doing?

[onteamdyson]

You were in a corpse room? How corpse-y are we talkin'? Like... rotting flesh, decomposing, really gross? Or fresh, still-warm kind of a deal?!

video.

[andblockbuster]

Am I really expected to listen to every conversation everyone has? Spoiler alert! No one's that interesting.

[andblockbuster]

[:||||]

Lots of things! ...Productive things. Or they would be if this entire ship didn't reject every piece of tech I threw at it. It's hack-proof. [Which is definitely not helping his IT'S THE ATTIC theory.]

[andblockbuster]

They were actually skeletons, but still... Way closer to very dead people than I ever expected to be again.

[onteamdyson]

I don't like dead people either, but skeletons are totally harmless! Unless you like... fall onto one and its rib cage stabs YOUR rib cage. Or it explodes. Typical skeleton behaviour.

[She smirks] Didn't take you for the gossipy kind. Is your hair full of secrets?

[andblockbuster]

...Funny how neither of those things crossed my mind when I was locked in a room with two of them for two hours.

[He shrugs a little, grinning.] If it was, that would be telling. I've just been... Preoccupied. You miss a week and suddenly everyone's crying mutiny and letting loose the hounds of war.

[onteamdyson]

You were too close to the situation. Good thing I'm here for outsider's perspective! Thinkin' outside the box.

Haven't seen any hounds, you might have to point them out to me, but I did hear about the mutiny junk. Lame. Needs more lasers and ray guns and maybe some robot hookers.

[Someone's craving video games]

audio;

[traitortwin]

So first it's a bunch of lists, and now a newsletter? Right. It's like no one has anything better to do than record shit one way or another.

[not here]

[astrogate]

[ Do people really sit on their porch and shoot robots?


Does it work? ]