[ He stops, sighing in frustration. How is it that he manages to mess things up every time? He sneaks a look over his shoulder, and the way she's sitting, with her shoulders hunched and her head bowed, is like a knife to the gut.
He'd never meant to upset her. Never meant to...to stop her from being who she is. Yes, he'd rather she didn't needle him about food and about the drinking, he'd rather she didn't poke her nose into his business, but he'd take that a thousand times over just one instance of Elizabeth biting her tongue on his behalf and looking that embarrassed and ashamed.
He's a bad influence on her. He's not good for her. Isn't that what this whole thing's about?
Abandoning the pot, Booker walks back over, wiping his hands dry on his pants, and leans his elbows on the table across from her. It takes him a moment to speak, as he struggles with what to say. ]
You're not overbearing, Elizabeth. It's just...
...All of this. The food, the tours of the ship. Hell, you made a whole city just because you thought I'd want to see it.
[ And he hadn't, not really, which is worse. She'd picked up on his lack of enthusiasm, he knows, and it had made him feel like scum, but what could he do? He doesn't have that same enthusiasm for life, that same inner joy that Elizabeth does. He wishes he could, sometimes, when she gets so delighted just at simple things and she's trying to drag him along and make him enjoy them with her, but he just can't. ]
I ain't worth...all that effort.
[ He drags a hand through his hair, looking away. ]
no subject
[ He stops, sighing in frustration. How is it that he manages to mess things up every time? He sneaks a look over his shoulder, and the way she's sitting, with her shoulders hunched and her head bowed, is like a knife to the gut.
He'd never meant to upset her. Never meant to...to stop her from being who she is. Yes, he'd rather she didn't needle him about food and about the drinking, he'd rather she didn't poke her nose into his business, but he'd take that a thousand times over just one instance of Elizabeth biting her tongue on his behalf and looking that embarrassed and ashamed.
He's a bad influence on her. He's not good for her. Isn't that what this whole thing's about?
Abandoning the pot, Booker walks back over, wiping his hands dry on his pants, and leans his elbows on the table across from her. It takes him a moment to speak, as he struggles with what to say. ]
You're not overbearing, Elizabeth. It's just...
...All of this. The food, the tours of the ship. Hell, you made a whole city just because you thought I'd want to see it.
[ And he hadn't, not really, which is worse. She'd picked up on his lack of enthusiasm, he knows, and it had made him feel like scum, but what could he do? He doesn't have that same enthusiasm for life, that same inner joy that Elizabeth does. He wishes he could, sometimes, when she gets so delighted just at simple things and she's trying to drag him along and make him enjoy them with her, but he just can't. ]
I ain't worth...all that effort.
[ He drags a hand through his hair, looking away. ]
I ain't worth any of it.