[She hesitates, scratching her forehead. A nervous tick when she doesn't want to look directly at someone.]
There was a time, before coming here, that it was possible for someone to manipulate my actions against my will. Make me do things, kill whoever they wanted me to kill.
When that feeling came again, it was-- familiar. That something wanted me to kill again. Didn't really want to kill these people, though.
It was almost like being torn in two.
After the kid, it changed. Relief? Thought it was finally over. That perhaps it was possible to at least save the other one.
Suppose that's what it wanted the entire time. And it just got the best of me.
[There's a tense silence that follows. Her teeth clench, anger coiling in her throat and through her words.]
He said that I chose it. But that was not my choice, and am sick of assholes taking that from me.
no subject
[She hesitates, scratching her forehead. A nervous tick when she doesn't want to look directly at someone.]
There was a time, before coming here, that it was possible for someone to manipulate my actions against my will. Make me do things, kill whoever they wanted me to kill.
When that feeling came again, it was-- familiar. That something wanted me to kill again. Didn't really want to kill these people, though.
It was almost like being torn in two.
After the kid, it changed. Relief? Thought it was finally over. That perhaps it was possible to at least save the other one.
Suppose that's what it wanted the entire time. And it just got the best of me.
[There's a tense silence that follows. Her teeth clench, anger coiling in her throat and through her words.]
He said that I chose it. But that was not my choice, and am sick of assholes taking that from me.