ataraxion | [video | ota] A lesson in culinary defenses

Entry tags:

[video | ota] A lesson in culinary defenses

[As the feed cuts in, the girl’s hand is retreating from the device and moving to the knife. Giulietta looks extremely unamused as she picks it up and raises an eyebrow at the man she’s with. When she speaks, it’s even and slightly irritable.]

Knives are the most obvious for self defense, you realize. A commoner would know how to use one if they must. I thought you said you were more resourceful than this.

[She turns to the device, still getting used to using it, and gives a look that can easily translate into “Do you believe this?”. This is the most exasperated 14th Century girl you’ll ever see.]

After insisting I be able to use common kitchen tools as self defense if I need to, a knife is the best Signore Bahorel can seem to come up with so far.

[Bahorel would barely be in the shot at first, opening cabinets and drawers and taking out some utensils and cookware here and there. The top to a pot, a spatula, a colander, even -- all to be arranged (more or less) haphazardly on the counter beside him.]

Obvious or not, the knife is most certainly your best bet, mademoiselle, if you have one at hand. It would be a shame to choose a lesser weapon if you intend to do any real damage or pose any sort of threat to your foe.

[Picking up a skillet and inspecting its with a ponderous expression.]

Still, la poêle, too, will have its advantages, for example, where there is heft-- [Tilting it on its axes to demonstrate its weight.] --and reach-- [Extending his arm full out in front of him, holding the pan as far from him as he can.] --that cannot be matched by the paring knife. Surface area, too, to account for one’s protection as much as for one’s poor aim.

[Swinging the pan a little with his whole arm, then drawing it up to cover his face in demonstration, before peering around it at Giulietta with a bit of a foolhardy grin.]

{{ OOC: Open to all! Giulietta is orange, and Bahorel is red. Feel free to address either or both of us, threadjack, etc.! }}

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[That grin actually gets a laugh out of her. Giulietta hides her mouth behind her free hand as she sets the knife back down. Her eyebrows raise and she gives him such a look for it.]

So all the more dangerous if I have a more precise aim?

Signorina Giulietta...?

I see you have met our Bahorel...

You... intend to fight, knife to... skillet?

[Oh! She'd been so distracted by the lesson that she nearly forgot she'd turned the device on...]

Signore Jehan! Ah-- Not exactly, no. More or less learning how to use what's around for self defense.

Do you anticipate many kitchen battlements...?

[Actually, as that had genuinely happened, perhaps not such a bad idea.]

Not exactly.. But someone insisted I not learn to throw a punch or fight with a proper weapon.

[She's rolling her eyes at that-- not that it's not uncommon to send a woman to the kitchen to prepare a meal in her time, but to think she'd ever be put in that situation..]

Perhaps there is some compromise between the brutality of hand-to-hand combat, as the passivity of... wooden spoon jousting?

[Not everyone can be Courfeyrac, after all.]

I would laugh in his face and leave if he dared to suggest wooden spoon jousting.

What would you propose, then?

...I hear it's a very manly sport.

Perhaps something that can be used from a range? More for protection, than attack and combat.

Is it? Then I shall leave it to the men.

Something from a range would be well and good unless I should ever be cornered, God forbit.

We thank you.

I do believe slings and arrows work up close as well, generally speaking. Though perhaps also something disarming, for such an occasion?

...Have you heard of perfume?

[He's going somewhere with this example, he assures.]

[Both her eyebrows raise.]

If you are going to suggest I use my feminine charm in such an occasion, Signore...

Excuse-? Oh! Oh, no, not at all.

I was going to suggest that it's a common enough item to carry, and that the alcohol in it stings and blinds when shot into the eyes.

[It also smells offensive, generally, but he's found his opinions on high-fashion matter very little.]

And have you learned this from experience?

[Her tone has quickly become amused.]

[Going red as a beat, truly...]

I- um. Well, no- that is to say... well. It's irritated my eyes while some men and women have worn it, so I assume... it is even more effective when actually sprayed in that direction.

Oh, is that the case?

[A fraction of a smile as she trails off. She shrugs her shoulders and goes back to inspecting the knife.]

It is certainly worth consideration, Signore... And so I will keep that knowledge stored.

It will certainly do less lasting harm then... well, that.

Also, please if it is in your willingness and nature, try not to dispatch of my friend. He still has quite some apologizing left to do.

And if I would care for more lasting harm, then it would be the perfect distraction in which to do so.

[.... Oops. But that has certainly caught her attention.]

Does he? Well, that won't do. I will do what I can to make sure he does his apologizing in a very timely manner.

...And would you care to leave someone such a lasting harm?

[Not quite the gentle creature he had read about, but consider his own curiosity taken.]

I am in your debt for that, Signorina. Thank you.

Only one man.

[She places the knife down and casts a glance back at Bahorel, then grins at Jehan.]

It is the least I can do for the gentleman that showed me such kindness when I arrived. You should not be kept waiting for apologies, especially a great deal of them.

If... I may inquire?

[Leaving that open-ended, in the case that he may not.]

I am in some agreement with you there, querida signorina. I appreciate very much your empathy on the point.

The man that murdered my family.

[.... Honestly, she thought you said there was a story about her. Shouldn't you know this?]

Then it is settled, he must apologize to you. The sooner, the better.

[here have a ten year old judging you.]

This is almost painful to watch.

[..... Judge away. Giulietta turns her attention back to the device and raises an eyebrow.]

Is it? And you would know better...?

Yes.

[just flatly, no real explanation offered.]

[Offended by that stab at the knife, Firo decides he can't just not reply.]

So what if a knife's obvious? It's one a' your best bets even if you're not stuck with stuff you can find in a kitchen.

[Expression sobering.]

I'm sorry, he- what?

[And not Romeo to Tybalt? He was grossly misinformed then.

All apologies forgotten.]

[And her other eyebrow goes up.]

Oh, but of course you do. I shouldn't have even questioned it.

[Sorry, but she finds it a little too boring and cliche.]

There's more to learn than just a knife is my point, Signore.

Salimbeni had my family murdered in cold blood. My brothers and parents.

I will see him dead at my feet for this.

[it's okay, he's going to tell you all the ways you were wrong, now. he's just not going to be very nice while he's doing it.]

You're relying on the fact that should you find yourself in need of defense, you will also find yourself in possession of a fully stocked kitchen.

Not to mention the heft and weight of each knife is going to handle differently in a fight, and if you aren't fully prepared and comfortable with a weapon, the chance of that weapon being turned against you is exponentially high.

--And the law did nothing for it?

[Not unsurprising, but his heart hurt for her.]

Oh, Signorina, my deepest sympathies.

The law is useless, he has control over them easily enough.

[The rage she feels toward the man, at least, is enough to keep her from weeping in public over it at the moment.]

Thank you.

...He has not yet arrived here, has he? Are you in any danger?

That I have seen? No. He has not. But I will be ready if he does-- and for the day that I return home in case Romeo is incapable of disposing of the criminal himself.

[...This was certainly not the story he had read.]

I cannot say I agree, but your decision has some wisdom and ought to be respected. [He did not think it would make her feel better, or healed, but...] You do need to be kept safe, and it is best if you are capable of doing so, in such an unsure place.

[She's curious about this alternate story, then.]

Thank you for not trying to talk me out of my decisions. I have had enough of that back home...

You are kind to believe I need to be kept safe-- and wise for realizing that I need to be able to do so on my own instead of relying on anyone else.

Sure there is. But you could say the same for a tommy gun and I'll bet you people won't start givin' up on those anytime soon.

Would that I never be call kind or wise for condoning violence again in my life, it should be too soon. But by your leave, I cannot possibly know your pain, and I defer to your wisdom, therefore; and hope for your kindness.

[That she might find it in time to know that lowering one's self to the same wrung as the monsters that haunted was romantic in sentiment; which held his respect; but damning in quality; it would offer no real discourse in forgiveness, peace, grace, or joy.]

A what?

So you are suggesting that I learn to wield all kinds of weapons to better be prepared should anything happen?

[.... Damn you, Signore. She lets out a slow breath and looks away.]

You sound like Friar Lorenzo now, Signore Prouvaire... I still thank you for your understanding. Perhaps we could meet for tea and to discuss... things further...? Whenever is convenient.

[shaking his head and frowning.]

No, I'm suggesting you learn one weapon very well and keep it on you instead.

A tommy gun. Some people call 'em Chicago typewriters.

[Most people here are from well before his time, so he's a little surprised she hasn't heard of it.]

Big gun, fires way too many bullets a second?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[video | ota] A lesson in culinary defenses

action/closed to B

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

video;

video;

video;

video

no subject

video;

video

no subject

video;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

video

no subject

video

video;

no subject

video;

video