Voice/Text • Your Monthly Info Post

[coffeeking]

HELLO You're probably confused. Take some time to read this over. We do our best to keep it up to date, and it should answer most of your questions. EDIT: This is the Cliffs Notes version. Please don't ever ask. THE RUNDOWN » What happened, where you are, what to do REFERENCE » Basic facts about the ship and solar system A TIMELINE OF EVENTS » This will take time to read thoroughly, but we strongly recommend it. FAQ » Please read this before asking a question on the network HEADCOUNT » Our current numbers SPACE TRAINING » If this is your first time aboard a space ship, please watch these helpful videos COMMUNITY NOTICEBOARD » For all your wants and needs

Comments

text;

[cargojet]

I definitely felt it this time.

voice;

[eightlives]

Fascinating.

[kutte]

Well shit. You got cliff notes for this or what?

[coffeeking]

I am actually going to start shooting people who ask me this.

No, you know what, wait just a tic.

[Ianto signs off for just a minute and then he comes back. The welcome document automatically refreshes with the new change.]

There.

voice;

[coffeeking]

One of the more positive reactions I've gotten.

text;

[coffeeking]

I know. I did too. No worse than last time though, and we're still alive.

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

What are "cliff notes"?

audio;

[coffeeking]

Imagine that you need to read a book for the information contained within, but you don't have the time or inclination to really sit down and read the whole thousand pages back to back. Cliff's Notes are the abridged summary, complete with dumbed-down explanations of any metaphors or symbolism that might be present in the book. So you get the gist, without having to spend any real time or effort.

I hope this is okay!

[51stcentury]

I wouldn't push him too hard, if I were you. For one, a lot of time and effort went into this thing. Some people even died to get the information and pass it along.

For another thing, he's an awfully good shot, even when he's being tetchy. [He only teases out of love, Ianto, I promise. Don't shoot him too.]

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

[ There's a pause. ]

That's... stupid.

audio;

[coffeeking]

It can be useful if you're trying to identify recurring themes in an author's works or it's required reading for a class and you have three more hours of homework to do before bed, but otherwise, yes. It's certainly stupid to ask for Cliff's Notes when you've found yourself kidnapped on the space ship of horrors. One would think one would want as much information as one could possibly scrounge up, but people keep asking me for bloody Cliff's Notes. As if this guide is even half as in-depth as it could be and likely should be.

text;

[cargojet]

No, no worse than last time. Just discomfiting. I didn't want it passing without comment, at least.

voice;

[eightlives]

Would it be better if I started to hyperventilate?

oh my god i love you so much in this moment.

[kutte]

Touchy about your paper-pushing?

[ no seriously jax is all about this. ]

voice;

[student_of_impossibility]

This is all quite helpful. I appreciate the effort, the... space training, especially. My compliments to the teachers. [Except that the whole thing is ridiculous and makes no sense, but he won't say that out loud.] I did have a few questions. The space training videos did not include more in-depth use of the communicators, for those less familiar with their use. Does anyone aboard offer such training?

On that note, if this is the abridged version, are there ready references with a complete briefing, so as not to bother the command staff? For that matter... [Here his voice turns rather wistful.] Is there a library? [He loves to read!]

i will never say no to jack tags!!

[kutte]

Speaking from experience?

[ aka do you have bullet wounds to exhibit ]

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

People are idiots. Plenty of them think they can handle it and don't realize how important the information is.

text;

[coffeeking]

Definitely not.

[encrypted 100%]
Theories?

voice;

[coffeeking]

No — and thankfully we've been short on panic attacks — but reactions generally tend more toward disbelief and anger.

no u <3

[coffeeking]

I'm sorry, did you just call my painstaking and risky collection of valuable information paper pushing?

[yes, he's touchy]

yay!! u3u

[51stcentury]

Of sorts. I wasn't the one shot, but I definitely had to listen to the whining about it afterwards.

[No, apparently Ianto has other punishments for when the perpetrator is Jack.]

[kutte]

Are you trying to tell me it isn't?

[ this is blatant button pushing ianto ]

[kutte]

[ they sound like horrible punishment jax sympathizes. ]

Whining about getting shot or about shooting someone?

text; > encrypted

[cargojet]

Stasis sickness.

voice;

[cargojet]

We do, but communicator training is in exchange for commitment to the crew.

[ Most underhanded politician ever. ]