He wanted-- no. Okay, that's not fair. Des wanted to go out, but I used that as my excuse to go, too.

[ because the one thing erik's never, ever done is judge anything she's admitted to him, petty angers to looming fears; if anyone will understand the need to take control back-- and how whether she meant to or not, whether it was malicious or not-- she used desmond's urgency as her own way to try and feel like she had some control back in her life.

forcing herself to be quiet and seem calm, if only not to set des off again. ]

We just... wandered, for a while. It was-- creepy, but fine. Nothing worse than unsettling. [ she frowns, thoughtfully. ] Except for... you know how when you go into someone's house, and you don't know them, you don't know the situation, but it just feels... bad? Then later you find out there's a huge fight or someone died or I don't know what and it all makes sense, but without seeing anyone you just walk in and know it's not okay?

[ she shrugs, giving a meaningful look around her.

and then with a stab at levity: ] At least I know that stupid emote is about as impressed with me as I am with it.