[ If Nill doesn't get to it first, there's a high chance Dirk will. I mean, c'mon, Dirk's been cutting his own hair since he was born--it's only a matter of time before he takes scissors to Dave's mop. ]

Don't like doctors? Welp, not like you're the only one. It might be better to get a vet up in here anyway. Thing about doctors is that most of 'em specialize, but they've also got good working noggins that can brain out things about other shit too.

[ He pauses. ]

Wait, lemme guess--a diatribe on doctors isn't what you want to hear right now.