ataraxion | ( 002 | ᴀᴜᴅɪᴏ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ )

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( 002 | ᴀᴜᴅɪᴏ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ )

[ The message starts with the distinct click of a lighter. There's a little growl too, like a snore of a dog (which would be correct, by the by) and then a long inhale - those that are good of hearing can hear the sizzling of the cigarette paper burning. Before the words come, there's an exhale, only then does the Swedish accented voice speak: ]

This place is a-- a drag, like you say, you know? [ A click of his tongue. There's a small nostalgia there, but it's clearly smacked down by the jesting tone that covers most of his words: ] I don't do this a lot, just so you know, but if bedbug fella wants to toke a king jay, I'm offering this time only.

[ A long pause, during which there's another inhale, a dog bark, and a laugh before Axel's annoying cockiness bounces back on, full force. ]

And any of you dope police can suck on it, there are no rules in here, ha ha hAOW, fuck, no, Porky, don't bite my crotch!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

You got weed?

[YES.]

Where's the hook-up?

If anyone ask, I'm denying.

Floor 7, room 1-1-9. Just come around whenever you like, if I'm there, we'll fire it up.

Why the hell is your dog biting your crotch?

You suck at computers.

[Libby sends a 98% encryption program to him.]

It's not finished, but it'll work as a stopgap.

Anyway. Weed! Fuck yeah. What will I owe you? I give wicked rad head.

[Libby is the worst.]

So?

[ He may or may not have made a hideous face at all that tech jazz going on, but whatever, if it works with a double click, it'll stay. If he has to install it, assume he is going to SCREW IT UP SOMEHOW! ]

It's cool you don't owe-- [ Wait what.

Really. Offering a lonely 19-years-old guy such a subtle approach? He snorts and, though she can't see it, he's smirking like a tool. ]

What, better than my dog?

He's probably hungry for a big sausage.

[Libby has it designed for ~~idiots~~ people who aren't tech savvy. A simple double click will make it work.]

Ew, you let your dog lick your dick?

[...it's not a no.]

Worlds better than a dog. I can suck the chrome off a fucking tailpipe, I'm wicked rad.

[ ... snrrrrk. ]

Maybe you should feed him some actual meat, then. Your 'sausage' of questionable size should stay away from dogs.

No, you idiot! [ He laughs, loudly, too, since he's such a polite person. ] I was kidding, because he just bit my crotch.

[ Another laugh, another inhale and an exhale, before the bed creaks as he flops back against his pillow. ] I would like to keep my tailpipe whole, though.

What, it's got chrome on it? Wicked strange. I can tone down, though.

[Excellent. An exchange she can work with.]

'M Libby. Call me an idiot again and I will bite your fucking cock off.

You people cannot take a joke. I'd never do that to my dog, would I? [ Now there's a bunch of Swedish that roughly translate to baby talking with the dog, before he returns his attention to her. ] Lots of dogs in this ship, I'm surprised the thing doesn't smell like pee.

That isn't nice, you know? I'm being nice to you and you are getting all aggressive with me. Chill, Lips. [ You have been nicknamed. Doesn't matter if you want or not, but it sounds good in his head so that's how he is going to memorize your name, Libby. Because it's so long, yup. ]

I'm Axel. Call me an idiot anytime.

Fuck if I know. But some of us have got a personal investment in that sorta shit.

Nah, it's busy smelling like blood. [ well. if you go far enough, anyway. ]

[Lips. Since it's a good nickname, she'll roll with it. He seems cool, why not? She's stuck with all these people, she might as well seem acceptable. So she smiles.]

Just protective of my honour and all. I'll be wicked nice to your cock otherwise.

Anyway. 'Sup, Axel? 'M Libby.

Edited 2012-07-10 22:53 (UTC)

The only way this fat pig would smell like blood was if I was a woman and he was biting my crotch while I was on my period. [ OH, HOW I WISH HE WASN'T SO CRASS.

Alas. ]

[ Well, at least Jaye doesn't mind. ]

What kind of dog is he?

The kind that is fat and ugly. Ain't you, you ugly and fat dog? [ She can't see it, but he's squishing him a bit while petting his head. ] He's a pug. The coolest pug you will ever know.

Nice.

[ He laughs and shrugs - even if she can't see it. ]

Just rolling one, hoping we can have a couple to spring the king jay around. It's not like there's much to do around this shitty metal hole. [ It's like a cage, this place. Needs more stairs and obstacles for him to jump off of. ] You got any hobbies in here, Lips?

Descriptive. [ ...d-daww. ] Why, 'cause he knows you?

Computers. I do computers. And engineering. Can I hit you up for weed right now?

[This is wicked rad and she is for it, even paying in blowjobs. That's never phased her before, it won't start now.]

What do I call you, fuckface?

[ There's a sudden burst of a laughter, which is followed by a happy bark, before Axel can actually talk. ] Nah, he's got natural swag. All the credit goes to him.

Cool, I don't get any of that shit. Shine was good with them, me, not so much.

[ There's a pause and he shrugs a little. Again, not like she can see it, but he can't stop it either. ]

Yeah, sure. And you can call me Axel, like I said. Or idiot. Or whatever you want, it's no big deal. [ He snorts a little and scratches his head. ] Hey, do you know how to shave a guy's hair?

Yeah, I used to--

[Liam. She does not talk about Liam, it--hurts, for stupid and wrong reasons.]

I cut hair wicked sharp. Want that instead of head?

And I asked 'cause--if I'm sucking your dick I want a name that at least is close to real.

Edited 2012-07-10 23:25 (UTC)

[ She's grinning and it shows in her voice. ] Good dog. [ ... there's a little bit of a coo there. ]

Yeah, fuck the police!

[This is for you, Edgeworth.]

I don't think I actually understood- any of that.

[ He doesn't get the pause - just assumes it's a normal pause like any other. ]

Not a two-for-one kind of deal? [ Axel laughs. ]

Like there could be any in here.

You don't look old enough to understand anyway.

I don't think I'm old enough to be running around an alternate reality on a spaceship unattended either, but at this point it's pretty much moot.

Some people, you know, they're trying. It's bullshit.

Is there an age limit to ride on this rollercoaster now?

They aren't going to make it. And, hey, if they do, only more people to trash around.

Ffff, I'm the last person you should be asking about rules.

[ He laughs at that, because, come on. Look at her, tiny and bunny-faced. She looks like the most harmless creature in the ship (oh boy). ]

What a rascal. Don't tell me you're a rulebreaker.

Well- between the robots and man-eating dogs, there aren't really a whole lot of rules.

Ha! You got me there. All right, I guess you're cool-- what's your name, kiddo?

One convo and we're straight to kiddo? Harsh.

It's Hayley.
You?

It's a good nickname. [ A shrug - even if she can't see it. ] Axel. Nice to meet you, Hayley the rulebreaker.

Nice to meet you too, Axel the nonsensical.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

( 002 | ᴀᴜᴅɪᴏ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ )

98% encryption

( audio | 0% encryption because he sucks ass )

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98% encryption restored because JEEZ

( audio | i never claimed he was good with technology!! )

( audio | i'm sorry OR AM I )

( 98% encrypted audio | WELL WHATEV)

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