001; the most optimistic newb you will ever meet. (video; open)

[assumedposition]

[ There's a boy on your video feed. Or more accurately: an intense close-up of his face, like he's inspecting it without realising it's turned on. But then before you know it, he leans back with an excited victory whoop. ]

Whoa! I got it working!

[ Now you can see more of him: he doesn't look to be any older than sixteen, but he's dressed in what are unmistakably fine clothes-- a collared shirt, a cravat, a jacket, etc. Even the patterned material is obviously opulent. ]

Man, these things are really ancient... --oh. Sorry. Talking to myself. Where are my manners? I'm Albert...

[ He trails off quite suddenly, as if he were about to say something else after his first name, but then thought the better of it. It's also noticeable that he pronounces it in the French way, "Al-bear", without the t. ]

Anyway! I'm making this video because I was hoping one of the kind citizens of this place could direct me in the way of food! French cuisine is preferred, but I'm not particularly picky. Hunger is the greatest sauce, or something like that.

Although-- now that I think about it, I don't... actually have any money? Oh, goodness. That was silly of me. I'm sorry, maybe just forget the whole thing.

[ He has the decency to look slightly sheepish. ]

In any case, since I'm under the impression that we're all sort of in this place together until we can manufacture an escape plan, I'm looking forward to the opportunity to meet everyone soon. I hope we'll be good friends!

Comments

[theshabbiestofmen]

We don't actually run on money! But I'm afraid we don't actually have French cuisine. I'm rather good at soup, though.

[assumedposition]

Yes, I've just been informed as such. I suppose that makes a certain amount of sense, if what I've been told is true-- if the whole population here are truly victims of kidnapping, then I guess there's no way we could have money. What does this place run on, then?

You make your own soup? Truly? That's ingenious.

[ THE TELLING WORDS OF A BOY WHO DOESN'T KNOW A WOK FROM A SAUCEPAN. ]

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He laughs softly.]

It's a start, in any case. I'm making it my goal to learn more useful skills during my time here. But it mostly runs on favors and kind words-- which sounds more naive than I mean it to be. But there's no real goods to hoard, not really, so there isn't much use for a bartering system.

[assumedposition]

When you put it like that, it does sound more like a kind of impossible utopia, rather than a kidnapper's den.

[theshabbiestofmen]

I suppose it's all in how you think of it. Though we do have our share of problems, don't mistake me. My name is Remus, by the way! Sorry.

[assumedposition]

Remus? Like in the great Roman myth?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Precisely. Remus Lupin the werewolf, for added irony.

1/2

[assumedposition]

[ Eyes widening in surprise, he blinks once or twice. ]

What-- really?

[assumedposition]

... Ah. You're teasing me, aren't you.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Not in the slightest. We've quite a few supernatural creatures, actually.

[assumedposition]

Come on, you don't have to draw out the joke so long. Surely such things only exist in fiction!

[theshabbiestofmen]

Similar to spaceships full of people from different worlds and times, you mean?

[assumedposition]

... Well, time travel is theoretically possible. It's not such a stretch to believe that someone somewhere across the galaxy has invented the technology.

And spaceships I'm quite familiar with. Though-- I suppose if you're from a few centuries ago like Alex, I can understand how they might seem equally impossible.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Frankly, I'm still not certain I understand it. --but in any case, I'm not trying to trick you. You can look back on other Network posts if you'd like more proof. Actually, I would recommend that; there are floors that it's not good to go on certain times of day.

[assumedposition]

--Not good? How so? As in, those rooms get direct sunlight and are too hot, or...?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Oh, no. Meaning-- well, some people-- they just take up certain rooms and oughtn't be disturbed.

[assumedposition]

... Oh. All right. I'll make sure to take note of that, then. Thank you.

[theshabbiestofmen]

In any case-- do you have any other questions about the ship?

[assumedposition]

Oh. So many. I don't even know where to start...

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He laughs again.]

Well, pick one at random! And I'll do my very best to answer it.

[assumedposition]

Well-- I don't know if I would call it random, but there is one on my mind right now.

How is it that so many people here seem to be under the impression that they're dead? Is this truly the afterlife, and I've simply passed into it completely unawares? I don't see how such a thing is possible, but...

[theshabbiestofmen]

It's . . . not, no. Not in the least. But there are odd things concerning death here. We've had many people say that they've come here after they must have died in their world-- but then again, you have people like my friend Sirius and I, who were simply living our lives when we woke up here suddenly.

[A beat. He adds:]

I've been here for quite a few months. But when I first got here, at the very beginning, I was informed I had been here before-- not at age fifteen, but far older. That I myself had come after dying, and now I'd apparently de-aged. I don't know what it means, or why, or if there's a pattern to it or not-- but there you have it.

[assumedposition]

... "But there you have it," he says ...

The dead do not come back to life. There must be some other explanation. Either that, or there are surely some demonic forces at work, here.

[theshabbiestofmen]

They don't normally, no-- but nor are we normally kidnapped and brought billions of miles away to live on a ship in space. I don't think normal rules apply.

[assumedposition]

Kidnapping and space travel are still within the realms of possibility, no matter how likely or unlikely they may seem to you-- overcoming death is-- is-- it simply cannot be done! That's the one irreversible law of the universe!

[ I'm sorry, did you say it was feelings o'clock? ]