video ★ 004

[herocomplex]

[ Fair warning, this alien is rather foul mouthed. He only mimics what he has learned from America. ]

Fucking. Fucking. Fuck.

_{[ This is heard telepathically to all watching the video, followed by some tongue clicking as he turns the device on.
Hi Ataraxion. Have +1 grey alien leaning into the communicator and holding it a bit lopsided at first before pulling the communicator away from him and setting it on a hard surface. He crouches down so he's in the camera view again before beginning to eat form a back of chips. ]}

Ahh, fucking. It seems we have to go through this process a whole fucking lot! Mmmmm, negative feelings towards this. It would be nice to fucking go home. Working on that for all of you; that is what my bro America says.

_{[ ANOTHER POTATO CHIP IN THE MOUTH. He seems to be in America's room, but there is no America. ]}

Hmmm. There are new arrivals. I am speaking on behalf of America since he is busy at the moment. My name is Mr. Tony, or Tony-bro if you are fucking tight. We should be fucking rad together.

Mr. America requests that those NATIONS aboard this fucking ship take the time to fill out a fucking form for the next fucking world meeting he is fucking arranging and fucking text it back. This will clear up any fucking confusion in fucking advance, hmmm. Possibly prevent a fucking death threat....unlike last time. This will happen every time a fucking jump occurs.
The date for the next fucking meeting is to be announced at a later fucking time, my friends.

<b>HUMAN NAME:</b><br /><br /><b>COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE:</b><br /><br /><b>LANGUAGE(S):</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS:</b><br /><br /><b>WHAT YEAR IS IT:</b><br /><br /><b>HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION:</b><br /><br /><b>HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER:</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU A COMMUNIST:</b><br /><br /><b>IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour):</b><br /><br /><b>TEA OR COFFEE:</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT:</b><br /><br /><b>DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING:</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH):</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH):</b><br /><br /><b>ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON:</b><br /><br /><b>WHO WON THE COLD WAR:</b><br /><br /><b>DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles):</b><br /><br /><b>IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR:</b><br /><br /><b>IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO:</b> <br /><br /><b>CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND:</b>


As for the rest of you, if you have any fucking questions that have to fucking do with Earth, fucking humans or fucking embodiments of fucking nations, contact us and we will be fucking happy to fill you in on how they behave, their diets, mannerisms, and any fucking thing else you may be fucking curious about.

[ CUE A THUMBS UP before the feed cuts. Though, the sound of a chainsaw revving up is in the background before silence]

Comments

[hagyjbeken]

HUMAN NAME: Elizaveta Héderváry

COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: People's Republic of Country that is far better than America Hungary

LANGUAGE(S): Hungarian, German, Russian, English, Greek, Turkish, Polish, Rusyn, Serbian, Ukranian, Armenian, Croatian, Romani, Romanian, Slovak, Slovene

DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: I'm female, thank you.

WHAT YEAR IS IT: 1956

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: ... Yes. Not willingly so.

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: Was in it. It hasn't fallen.

DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: Whenever it falls, hell no.

ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: Yes. Against my will.

IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: N/A

DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): None of your business.

TEA OR COFFEE: Both.

ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: Shut up. :|

DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: His life.

ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): I was involved with them, yes.

ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): No.

ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: Can I be neutral?

DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: What. Does trying to take his life count?

WHO WON THE COLD WAR: Still going, fuck off.

DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): Not particularly?

IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: Fuck off, America.

IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: No.

CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND: What kind of stupid question is this.

[herocomplex]

Thank you so fucking much. We'll fucking keep this.

_{[ A beat as he reads. ]}

Fucking commie.

Mr. America is unsure if you should attend the next meeting, dude.

[hagyjbeken]

[... Pffthaha, what.]

I assure you that I've had sleep and enough destressing that I should be fine. And I'm not communist by my own will, thank you.

[herocomplex]

That is fucking true.
But Mr. America informed me you tried to fucking kill him.

He is still unsure if you presence is beneficial or not.
That is what he fucking told me, bro.

[hagyjbeken]

To be fair, I did, yes. But that was due to sleep deprivation and a number of different stressors. All of which have been dealt with.

Would you be in the best of moods without sleep and having come from a time of fighting with Russia?

[herocomplex]

....
Is it because you have been performing the mating ritual which you kind practice with somebody else on the ship?

[hagyjbeken]

...

Do I honestly need to answer that. That's a bit personal, isn't it?

[herocomplex]

_{[ A bit of tongue clicking, like chuckling. ]}
I think Mr. America should find a potential fuckbuddy soon, then.
That is the correct term he uses.

[hagyjbeken]

[Stupid alien thing, uuuugh.]

If anyone would touch him with a five foot pole. And what I do isn't classified as "fuckbuddy", thank you very much.

[herocomplex]

He seems a bit stressed.