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[WHOS THIS DOUCHEB no who is this charming gentleman

Wily's well-groomed and wearing his best three piece grey suit THANK GOD that came with him in his locker yes. He's smiling serenely at the camera]

Well, well, well. Hello there! It's probably about time I did the whole introducing myself formally 'round these parts, isn't it?

Doctor Albert Wily, at your service. [jaunty bow]

Right, so, I've already gathered that we're in space on some sort of hyperadvanced non-euclidian space ship headed for god-knows-where with a bunch of people pulled from various alternate universes. No need to explain that part. I've also already gathered the whole "No, you can't go home" though I've heard some vague thing about how if this boat gets where it's going we'll be allowed to go home.

Forgive me if I'm a bit skeptical about that part. And even if it's true, I'm hardly patient, and I imagine most of you aren't either. So... I suppose my first question is, have any of you made a concerted effort to start figuring out how this bucket of bolts works, and if so, how might an enterprising engineer like myself go about doing the same?

Right, second question is who is in charge of this boat? I keep hearing about captain and crew and so on, but I've yet to see them posting around. Granted, you're all a chatty bunch, and it's hard to keep up with Wonder if I could program a simple content aggregator to filter relevant posts... hmm so I may have missed it.

Anyway.

Third question: what sort of music do you listen to, and can any of you play insturments or sing? Very important. It's far too quiet 'round these parts.

Thank you, and have a wonderful day.

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[ oh, no, you did not just call the Tranquility that. Have a mildly put-out pilot frowning at the video feed. ]

The Tranquility's a lot of things but she isn't a 'bucket of bolts'. The chief engineer's also the XO - Resnik's been running the ship pretty well considerin' she's not had a proper crew to look after her for a while now. [ He doesn't sound defensive or irritated, just a little flat. The mildest of the mild. ] You're an engineer, you say?

[OH YES HE DID]

Right, okay. [SURE] My sincere apologies.

I am indeed. My specific specialties are robotics and telecommunications, but I'm fairly flexible.

Well, I reckon we could do with someone as useful as you're sounding then. [ Time to turn on the charm. Hotspur smiles, earnestness replacing the quiet flatness of his voice from barely a few seconds ago. ] If you don't mind getting your hands dirty you could help my team sort out the comms systems in the busted shuttles? The more help we get the quicker we can all get home, that's what I'm thinking.

[Oh he knows that song and dance. He will be charming right back at you.]

Of course I don't mind; I'd be happy to help.

It it doesn't rock, it isn't worth listening to.

Yes. Yes, good. You have passed the test, and are a worthy individual.

Personally, I make a few exceptions for really good jazz and swing, but honestly you cannot beat good rock'n'roll.

Can't say I go in for much of post-90's rock or metal, but there are rare exceptions. Most of them. I prefer what I grew up with, honestly.

Are you from Earth, then?

No, I agree completely. I'm very much for the late 70s, early 80s. Especially Queen.

Yes, I am. I suppose a lot of people around here aren't, hmm.

I'm a great fan of things such as AC/DC, Gun n' Roses, Def Leppard, KISS, Alice Cooper, Megadeth-- early Metallica, nothing post Black Album--

[they're going to music hipster at aech other for hours now.]

And, of course, classics like Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd.

YES. Good. All of this.

You have a name? And do you play. And please tell me your collection came with you, all I got was my vinyls of Night at the Opera, and my singles of Highway to the Danger Zone and Ballroom Blitz. Wait... no, looks like I have Led Zepplin's fourth album. Original pressing too. But nothing else. And nothing to play them on. It's criminal. I'm going to have to rig up a turntable somewhere.

Someone on this ship has to have Dark Side of the Moon. Someone.

Also, we can agree that while digital is fine for transport, vinyl is really the only way to go, yes?

I am called Megamind.

Agreed upon on all points, all points-- [supervillains with rock fetishes; the ship should tremble] I dabble a bit. Guitar, keyboards-- but nothing concrete. I had other work.

[and honestly, nobody would have put up with his ego in a band anyway, let's be honest.]

[The ship WILL tremble. Because they'll have turned the amps all the way up. TO ELEVEN. BEWARE THE SUBWOOFERS OF EVIL.]

Ah, yes, other work, don't we all? So did I, really. Guitar as well, vocals... ukulele, believe it or not. Don't knock it.

[Seriously. Insult the ukulele at your peril.]

But too busy for anything serious. The whole robotics thing takes up a lot of time.

Not my favorite [Goody Two-Shoes played the Ukulele. He's bitter, okay.]

Yes, robotics do tend to do that.

Fair enough. [You didn't actually make fun of it, so you get a pass]

Hah, is that what you do too, out of curiosity? Robotics? Or something else?

Oh, I've dabbled there. It's a favorite of mine. Engineering in general -- not that I haven't worked with other sciences. Face it-- if it invovles math on some level, I do it.

Naturally. The truly intelligent person diversifies.

If not, they're bored! [Boredom was a huge probably for Mr. Big Brain.]

I know an enterprising engineer! I don't know so much about the like yourself. Should I hook you two up or something?

I'd be interested, yes.

Okay, cool. Hang on a sec, I'll put him on--

Vreille, what -- why are you...

Hi, hello, I'm sorry, what's... what's this about? My, er, I was kind of just handed a communicator.

Yes, right, hello.

I was told you were an engineer of some sort? I'm interested in gathering a group of folks interested in figuring out the workings of this ship so we can compare notes. And maybe figure out a way to get us back home.

Right, yes, I am. I'm not the best one on the ship -- I'm... a little more 21st-century than, than most of this, but yes.

Do you mean you want to find a way to make it take us back, or how we were taken in the first place, or a... some third option...?

Trust me, so am I.

The first two options, both. I figure if we can figure out how it took us in the first place, we can work from there. But getting home would be the goal.

Unless you want to stay, of course. But I doubt most do.

[a derisive snort can be heard clearly; obviously, somebody's been listening over somebody else's shoulder.] I doubt most do. Golly, mister! What gave you that impression!

Don't be quite so quick to assume; I met one lady who's perfectly content to stay.

I think she's crazy.

Well, not to be quick to judge, but yikes. Different strokes only takes you so far.

[ The second the video flicks on, France waves a hand at the screen as if to express his disinterest. ]

I do not care about this ship or how it works. It is absurd enough we are aboard it: I do not wish to explain to absurdities of existence, merely to accept them.

But aaa, the music? Of course, of course, I know how to play a few different things, though I suppose I am best with the piano. I can play most things, though I prefer to play Debussy over anything else.

Nineteenth century French, eh? Not really my style, but, well, you have to respect the classics.

And what exactly is your style, mister?

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