mathematically: (pic#5013618)
lчdíα ( вєttєr thαn αnч σthєr αlphα ) mαrtín ([personal profile] mathematically) wrote in [community profile] ataraxion2012-11-04 02:11 pm

second molotov cocktail made ☾ ( voice + action, because butt slapping )

[ the feed opens with a bit of a sad sigh coming from it, and it's almost as if lydia sounds like she's going to report that someone left. but for those of you who know how to fake sadness, it might not be nearly as genuine as it could be. and really, as soon as she opens her mouth, it should clear up your confusion on how much she really cares. ]

I realize that it's fascinating that we're all becoming insane, like Neal and whoever that one very depressing anon is, and stressed and we're all still trying to recuperate from whatever that whole thing with the the locked doors and all of us being shoved into the Oxygen Garden and nearly freezing. Have you guys finished cleaning that up, by the way? I also think a jump should be coming up soon. The days may have blurred a little.

All these things are horrible, but, there's a silver lining, because according to Hayley's calendar, that maybe she flipped a date or two around on, today happens to be be Slap a Lawyer on the ass day. Now, personally I know of a few, and I imagine there might be more, because I haven't talked to everyone. The point is, I propose we actually embrace the spirit of this great holiday. [ no lydia, please sound more amused about this. please sound more amused that you're sending everyone to just go slap a bunch of asses. ]

So, I'll get everyone started. I know Edgeworth, number 007 » 114, is one, and so is Mike Ross, number 011 » 002, even though he can't do math at all, and Harvey, his reasonably attractive boss and also number 011 » 001, is one. And Nathan, number 006 » 078. I think might be. At the very least he's a politician and most of the time, those people went to law school. That's four, out of however many there really are. And I know I missed people, but does that mean they're off limits? No, I, Lydia Martin, by the power invested in me by me actually remembering that Hayley even put this on her calendar, hereby declare that everyone who has not gone crazy and might murder people, should go forth and slap a lawyer's ass. And I expect to hear all about it. I might even join in the fun myself. 

Go forth and slap away, Tranquility. Might actually do wonders to make the ones of us still having trouble feel a little better.


[ ooc | okay so! this is open to action threads and everything from everyone. i only included edgeworth, mike, harvey and nathan because those are the only lawyers lydia knows for sure are lawyers. this does not mean that anyone who plays a lawyer character other than those four is excluded since this is so open to every lawyer and such on the tranquility. equal opportunity ass slapping, everyone. so yes, go forth and slap and enjoy this. ]
whippings: (*coiled ➙ don't fucking push it)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-11-30 11:22 am (UTC)(link)
It means that you're trying to avoid the full consequences of your punishment! [ But nonetheless, she whips him again. ]
biffail: (freaked ★ we're well-read and poised)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-01 02:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I never said - yeowwwww! [His life is suffering.]
whippings: (objection! ➙ your suit is cheap)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-04 02:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She brings the lash back in and smirks at Larry. ]

There. That's one for both of them.
biffail: (sads ★ or just going down)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-09 11:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Larry frowns and sighs. Why, oh why, did he have to run into von Karma's daughter on this ship?]

Is that all?
whippings: (*whip ➙ brings all the boys to the yard)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-10 09:09 am (UTC)(link)
For now.

[ Then there's a dangerous glint in her eyes. ]

Why, are you asking for more?
biffail: (shout ★ pumping through your speakers)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-17 02:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[He screams his answer.]

NO! Are you crazy?!
whippings: (*waiting ➙ cannot wait to shut you up)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-18 09:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ She readies her whip again. ]

I could ask the very same question of you!
biffail: (rawr ★ I'd burn this city down)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-19 08:58 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not the one going around with a whip just so I can hit everyone I see!

[But he does back away.]
Edited 2012-12-19 08:58 (UTC)
whippings: (point ➙ YOU‚ FOOL.)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-20 08:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ Good. She seems satisfied with that, at least, and does not whip him again (for once)... although she does scoff. ]

Yet you make yourself such an easy target.

biffail: (rage ★ 'cause I swear)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-20 08:39 am (UTC)(link)
No, I don't! You're just too fast and don't give me a fighting chance!
whippings: (stare ➙ don't say something foolish)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-20 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
... So, you're challenging me to a fight.

[ LARRY BUTZ, YOU ARE A SAD, FOOLISH MAN. ]
biffail: (freaked ★ we're well-read and poised)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-20 12:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[What. WHAT. Oh no. Larry shakes his head, swallows hard, and backs up against the door frame.]

Whoa, whoa, I didn't say that! I just said "fighting chance"!

...Fine, I guess I meant "a chance to duck"!
whippings: (neutral ➙ a perfect face)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-20 12:52 pm (UTC)(link)
You had plenty of those. Don't blame me for your poor reflexes.
biffail: (serious ★ we're the chemists)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-20 12:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Geez, why d'you even carry a whip all over the place, anyway...
whippings: (curstey ➙ a von Karma has manners)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-20 01:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Because of people like you.

[ Seriously how did you not expect that answer. ]
biffail: (shout ★ pumping through your speakers)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-20 02:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[He did not because he's Larry.]

Then...then maybe people like me should carry whips too, to get back at people like you!

[Didn't you just take back your "fighting chance", Larry?]
whippings: (smile ➙ it's indistinguishable)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-21 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
Hah! Like you would know what to do with one.
biffail: (rawr ★ I'd burn this city down)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-21 06:40 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, I would! I'd crack it and hit you and show you what I'm made of!
whippings: (haughty ➙ she's better than you)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-22 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
I'll believe it when I see it.
biffail: (shout ★ pumping through your speakers)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-22 02:03 pm (UTC)(link)
You can see it now if you hand yours over! Or at least, show me where I can find one...
whippings: (smile ➙ it's indistinguishable)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-24 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
Let you touch my whip with your filthy hands? Never.
biffail: (rage ★ 'cause I swear)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-24 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
[Larry spreads his hands in front of her.]

Hey, my hands are clean! Look!
whippings: (sneer ➙ look down her nose at you)

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[personal profile] whippings 2012-12-25 11:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ She wrinkles her nose without looking. ]

Disgusting.
biffail: (rawr ★ I'd burn this city down)

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[personal profile] biffail 2012-12-26 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
I washed them! I really did!
whippings: (pause ➙ so boring I almost fell asleep)

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[personal profile] whippings 2013-01-04 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn't matter what you think you did. It changes nothing.

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