23 January 2014 @ 12:34 pm
 [Welcome back to Conspiracy Theory Hour with Topher Brink, who is currently in medical wearing a parka. He is the worst Stark Bannerman ever.]

When Bennett Halverson was here [he has to swallow a bit, because having Bennett here, however awkward it might have been, was nice and he misses her], we got into our brains to do some research on the nanites. It... didn't get too far, because the problem with these little beasties is they're everywhere and they kinda control how we get in and out of places and, personally? I don't wanna sleep in the hallway. But the fact is, we don't know a whole lot about them and we can't crack 'em without being worried that they're gonna... do something weird or explode our brains. And that's bad on numerous levels.

And I didn't realize until just now how bad. 

Let's think for a second. We've got the whole memory share business with each other, which is now, apparently, extending into memory share with the old crew. We know for a fact the nanites are deeply ingrained into the brain's thought processes. Think about it, guys- when you sign on to become a member of one of our lovely teams, do you go out and get a new tattoo with that shiny three letter badge of honor or do you fall asleep and wake up with it permanently stamped to your arm. [He holds up his own, showcasing his MED « 002 « 195 tattoo.] 'Cause I think I woulda remembered the tattooing process- I'm just saying.

[He sucks in a breath.] So the nanites know the difference between idly thinking "Hey, I'm in medical" versus "I am really and truly in medical." That means they're receiving data from the brain. We already know they can transmit it, because that's how we get around here. It's like any good computer, but here's the thing. We don't- and kinda can't for the aforementioned brain asplode reasons- know how much data these things are actually getting off of us. 

[He rolls his chair over to his computer.] And-and the thing is, all the nanites operate on the same network. Receiving, transmitting, whatever- we're all connected through them- so what if the memory links were a nanite malfunction. What if we saw a little glimpse behind the curtain of what's really going on here. Remember that line from the subnetwork? "It wants to keep you?" I know you remember that if you were for it, 'cause I still have nightmares about it. 

[A bitter, manic laugh.]

You can't delete a program- not really. If these nanites were in the original crew- doing their whole receiving and transmitting thing, then whatever they got off of them is still here. Floating around in the ether. Guys, what if we've been approaching this whole Smiley thing from the wrong perspective. Smiley's not one guy or an AI or Gallagher's freakin' ghost- Smiley is everyone. The whole crew. A literal ghost in the machine- the collective memories, feelings, whatever, of the entire former crew that somehow merged to create this one... composite. We die? We'll still be here. Floating around with the old crew. Boom. Prophecy fulfilled or whatever you wanna say.

[Basically, Smiley is a composite event without a host body or complete personalities. Just fragments. It makes a lot of sense to someone who has seen some shit. It's the only thing that can make sense. The ship's crew is just... gone, but they're still here.]

I mean... People have seen Smiley act outside the ship, right? And the only thing we bring with us when we leave the ship are our nanites. There's gotta be something to that, right?

 
 
25 October 2013 @ 08:16 am
 [What you are seeing is Topher. Topher looks a little like hell. Someone may or may not have been avoiding dealing with one of his empathy links for SCIENCE (the first one worked out fine- that's how he knows enough to figure this out, but the second one...) ... Also, it's possible he's been occupied running scans and trying to figure out if he's wrong, which... he's still not convinced he's not.]

I've been working.... [He pauses, plants a palm on his forehead, and sucks in a breath.] I've been working on a theory. It's not entirely sound yet, but I was trying to run through every logical possibility before entertaining the notion that it might actually be... that, and... no dice. None. And it was bad enough when it was just memories, but now- now. Oh, it's much worse. 

Whatever this is, it's on a synaptic level- whatever one person feels, the other person feels too. Observe. [He picks up something sharp and pricks himself, which makes him hiss in pain.] Now someone out there felt that. That means that we are doing some serious groupthink weirdness without the whole "all of us are Borg" BS- SO FAR. Who knows what it'll be in a few weeks. Or days. And what was the last thing 90% of us experienced that involved groupthink? Anyone?

[YEAH, TOPHER'S HAVING A BAD DAY. HOW ARE YOU?] I think we might be in trouble.

[He rubs his face.] And is anyone who was fully assimilated on Strela even still around? 'Cause that'd be a start to maybe possibly proving me wrong. Or right. But let's err on the side of blind optimism and assume my fancy medical degrees in neurology mean nothing and I'm just talking out of my... bottom area. Whatever.

[Maybe you should deal with your link first, Topher. MAYBE. There's science to do, okay.]
 
 
17 September 2013 @ 11:38 pm
[Q looks completely wrecked. The lack of sleep that the Tranquility has so kindly blessed him with has left him looking almost on death's door, bags under his eyes and his clothes and hair dishevelled. Apparently, however, insomnia prompts either genius or madness and around him are a plethora of papers and diagrams, repeatedly scribbled out and redrawn with blue and red pen. Q rubs his bloodshot eyes and smiles slightly up at his audience.]

Hello, there. So these past few months have been rather hectic and it got me thinking. [That and more cups of tea than he would care to count.]

So the universe is endless, yes? A giant mass of endless stars. As our telescopes get stronger and stronger and we look out into the void of space, we keep finding more to look at. We cannot find its horizon.

[He rocks on the balls of his feet and begins to rifle through his papers.]

Yet a recent theory suggested that while it's endless, it isn't some vast, infinite mass. Instead, it loops back on itself. Time and space is...a doughnut.

[He holds up a complex diagram filled with numbers and various intersecting circles up to the camera.]

If we look far enough into the distance, we can see ourselves and it is my belief that the people, the things which we are witnessing on The Tranquility are either ourselves or the ship's past or future catching up on us. The jumps, in my opinion, are literal, as we dot from place to place, picking up fragments of time.

[He lets out a sigh and scratches his head.]

Fuck me if I know who Smiley is though.
 
 
19 August 2013 @ 04:09 pm
[ there's no explanation or introduction attached to the message despite her obvious newness in the 022 of her i.d. number, just a direct, pressing question: ]

Is it pretty common for people's memories to get screwed with here?
 
 
24 June 2013 @ 09:02 am
[ for optimal viewing pleasure, please see the following and allow to run in the background as you enjoy this recording. though the only thing currently in the feed is an angled shot of the treetops in the gardens, this is not an accidental video. there's rustling in the background, like something's moving fast through the leaves coming closer, and it is moving.

a couple seconds later, myfanwy comes flying overhead, a small black shape on her back. it might not be terribly difficult to discern what it is, but don't worry if you miss it, because the pteranodon makes a screech and a sharp turn, sending the shape tumbling off her back towards the device.

river rolls over the feed when she hits the ground, dressed in her tq crew uniform with the legs cut into shorts, hair tied up in a messy bun and hands covered with fingerless black gloves that hardly fit her at all. sky-diving experts or anyone with military training might notice her roll is perfectly controlled to minimise damage, and when she comes back into view, her eyes are wide with adrenaline but she doesn't seem particularly bothered by her fall. ]


Test five. Flight successful. Notes: need to meet higher altitude, consider construction of a harness; ask permission first. No hard turns.

[ she looks away for a second and blinks. ]

I skinned my knees.

[ oops? that's all she says before cutting off the feed. a second later, she attaches a text message. ]

needed:
  • driving goggles ( 1 )
  • cowboy hat ( 2 )
  • chocolate ( dark pref. )
  • colors ( blue unnecessary )
  • tour guide
accepting applications for the last. list name, ident, and qualifications below. willing to trade goods and services.


[ namely: simon's services and stolen goods. double oops? river's permission post is, as always, right yonder with all the necessary warnings and what have you! ]
 
 
23 June 2013 @ 04:21 pm
I don't really enjoy making these recordings so I'll try and be brief. While things are slow in medbay - and I know I'm probably jinxing it by saying that - I want to remind people that we're open for run of the mill check ups, consultations on existing ailments, examining any strange itches or lumps, help with nutrition or sleeping problems--anything you need. We've seen it all before.

For those of you who frequently put yourselves at risk, the medbay really works better when we have stock of your own blood available, which means coming in and getting it drawn. We have synthetic blood, and all sorts of injections and tablets that can improve the capacity of blood production, but nothing is better than getting your own blood back when you get injured. It's especially important in the case of gunshot wounds where you lose a lot of fluids much too quickly.

And uh, finally... [ Dexter scratches his nose. ] If you have any odd nutritional needs, it'd be better if we could discuss them now rather than have to pick up the bodies later. Medbay can help, just give us a call. I promise we'll be one hundred percent discreet, no matter what.

Oh-- [ Not quite done yet, okay. ] Does anyone know how to make bear claws? Jelly filled donuts? I owe someone an apology, and baked goods have always been the way to go.
 
 
17 June 2013 @ 11:10 pm
[Hello, everyone! It's late, late night, and you're now being treated to the sight of... bare skin!? What?

Yes, it's bare skin, a bit out of focus, but that's what it is. The holder of the device sighs in what she hopes is a thoughtful manner.]


I know the science of it, the biology, yes, but I don't like it. Legs are troublesome enough...

[The feed is flipped over to reveal a young woman with dark, mussed hair and a haughty look. She sounds completely perturbed, but somehow bored at the same time.]

...inefficient as they are. This is a nuisance.

[Camera back to skin, camera back up. Yes, by now you may have figured out that she's showing off one slender leg.]

There's hair. On my leg. On both legs, actually. I don't know whether to be fascinated by the wonder of the human body or completely disgusted.
 
 
14 June 2013 @ 11:39 pm
[ This is the most important question he's actually asked in a while. It could be a combination of getting lost down in the ship for weeks, a bad jump. Hard to say, but he spends a decent amount of time typing this out rather than using the voice to text function. ]

yeah so

dead people dont bother me since ive been around them for centuries. and if youre dead that kinda sucks

but how do you get rid of a ghost. is that possible???

because i think i might have a problem
 
 
[ it's perhaps a side effect of how he hadn't been sleeping as well as he should have been before the jump, and how there's been a mess of nervous energy with him that he practically jolts out of the medbay after seeing that pepper and natasha and— everyone else, except jaye, jaye wasn't there. he should check that. but first he needs to check the numbers, check the data of everyone who's here, see the numbers left. that'll kill two birds with one stone, won't it. because he'll see her number, and it'll be fine.

it doesn't take long for him to get to his room and look at the program connor and him had set up once upon a time to track numbers of people, to make sure as soon as they were gone, you'd know for sure. it's faulty, he knows that, you don't have names to go with numbers, but he knows the important numbers for him. there's jaye, just fine and then he looks down, toward the later numbers, making sure none of the people he saw were just doubles with the wrong number and then he notices.

018 has people he already knew were there. 019 seems like it only has one person. and then 020 looks like a normal jump where people come. they shouldn't be on twenty. they had just done the nineteenth jump, he hadn't been asleep again, had he? had they had a coma and no— someone would have stopped him when they were stumbling about and he was rushing. it's another moment before tony scrambles to look at the network, hand shaking a little before he sees hotspur and jaye and other people, and he should say something to jaye, but that doesn't point to them not skipping a jump. why wasn't there talk about the nineteenth jump. why hadn't— he just needed to ask everyone the simple question. in text, because okay no, he is definitely not feeling like talking. ]


Anyone remember the nineteenth jump? Going through it, anything that happened? Don't tell me it's the one we just went through, because you might want to check all the new batches numbers, seriously. Actually you know what, 019 » 034, you have a name, don't you? You want to shed some light on being a 019er?

[ like how it seems like you're the only one maybe? ]
 
 
[ generally speaking, leonard mccoy would like to avoid doing this sort of thing, but it's just his regrettable luck that he's the one who comes across what pretty much looks like someone decided to take someone's organ ( organs, maybe, just because there was just the liver there doesn't exactly mean the other parts weren't incinerated ) and bits of skin from them. those signs usually point to a murderer probably in medical which ten different shades of nowhere near okay or alternatively that— something else is going wrong. either way there are two things he knows right now. one, he needs to inform security and two, even if this isn't his medbay, he's allowed to yell at his fellow medical people. because they're goddamn medical personnel and you don't do this sort of thing to people. ]

[ encrypted 100% | tyke + reaper ]
Look, not sure which one of you counts as the head of security right now, and I honestly don't care. The fact of the matter is, there's something you two need to know. Especially in the wake of Dr. Frankenstein the last jump before I got here. There was— fuck it, I'll come right out and say it. There was a goddamn blood smear, a surprisingly intact liver and a few strips of flesh in the morgue near the incinerator. I have no idea why or where it came from, but there's a reason I'm doctor not a damn detective. I imagine you'll want to investigate and that's good for you. I know I'm not gonna touch it, but I can't guarantee everyone else might. So whatever you do with this, whoever you tell to get down here, might wanna do it quick. Especially since I am about to yell at the entirety of the goddamn medical staff.

[ encrypted 100% | all medical personnel ]

[ if mccoy sounds and looks annoyed when he talks, it's because he is. and it shows in how his accent thickens with each passing word and he knows later on, he might think about how this was stupid, but it needs to be said right now, or maybe they'll get unlucky and someone will do this again. ]

Let me make this very clear, I don't care how desperate we are for people to work here. How this is not my medbay and therefore me yellin' at you is mean and uncalled for. How, as always, there's more idiots on this ship than there are medical personnel who can patch them up with ease. Which means gettin' one of you all to leave is a bad idea. But— the basic idea of being in medical is to help people. I ain't gonna mention the Hippocratic Oath since some of you might not have even had to take it, but— cuttin' someone up and takin' their goddamn liver and leavin' blood and strips of flesh for someone else to come across breaks about every damn rule of helpin' people.

[ there's a pause, where bones takes a deep breath and looks even more aggravated than he already was. ]

Now I don't know if was one of you, or if one of you let the person who did this into the medical bay, but maybe, just maybe act like a decent whatever you are, and not make me concerned that I'm working with murderers and that I'll have to watch my back while I'm trying to do my job and helpin' everyone stay alive, heal from whatever stupidity they did.
 
 
25 May 2013 @ 04:42 am
[It's taken a few months but Q has finally run out of things to toy and tinker with. He's attempted to hack his communicator to no end, he's wiped his laptop twice already and tetris can only keep him occupied for so long. As such, he needs some more hardware, particularly if he wants to make any discoveries about the ship, and he's forced to make a public post to ask for it. Armed with social shyness under the pretence of security, he's decided to write a text post. At least that way he has enough time to carefully consider what he says before he submits it to the world.

Hello everyone. My name's Charlie and I work in communications. I'm a bit of a hobbyist in regards to technology, though on the Tranquility I'm a little short on supplies. I feel a tad uncomfortable attempting to pull the ship apart. [That and he's already tried.] So I was wondering if anyone had any spare communicators or technology from back home which they don't need which they might be able to lend me. I don't mind if it's broken or functioning incorrectly. If it had a battery or wires in it at some point, I probably want it.

Although it's not much, in return I can offer one of these which I have made:


[He inserts a clip of a handmade version of a piggy cook, though it's definitely more of a robot than a pig. It's crafted out of odd bits of metal and cutlery, with a shirt made out of a bedsheet. Presentation has never quite been Q's forte.]

They aren't particularly beautiful, though the mechanics are good and I thought they might provide some form of novelty.
 
 
10 May 2013 @ 09:23 pm
[That's a really nice view of a kitchen ceiling popping up on your comms. Forgive the 90's kid for his lack of experience in smart phones - or maybe don't, because it might just be he's too lazy to hold the thing up while he's talking. Or it might be where he's busy rifling through every food cupboard he can find, his talking punctuated here and there by the sound of food packets being investigated, shaken around, crinkled.]

Not that I want to disrupt all the great work you people've been doing here, but those two assholes you think are in charge - you checked they're human? Might wanna label it some post-traumatic shit, but recent experience has given me a healthy distrust of taking anyone as they appear. And it'd explain this situation better than any of the vague mysterious bullshit you've been going with so far.

[There's a pause, then the sound of a box of something or other getting torn open, and yeah, when he talks again he's obviously doing it around a mouthful of food. It's been a rough couple of days, and he's hungry. It's also good for covering up any glimmers of actual concern in his voice as he carries on.]

I'm missing some people. Yeah, you heard it all before. But you see a short bug-eyed freak called Casey running around, do me a solid and point him my way.

[[ooc: backdated to early on the day after the jump!]]
 
 
16 April 2013 @ 09:09 pm
[ Typically, Jake would be posting onto the network with his signature green text, but today we're on video. He's simply filming form his quarters, and he actually drops the device at first, muttering a slight curse word under his breath.
When he props it up on a hard surface, we see that he is in a white tee shirt that he's had for some time now.
Not too many people are aware, but he was sent home for awhile. Now he's sixteen and has gone through a lot.
On the outside, though, the only thing we can see is a marking on his left arm. ]


Courtesies, friends on the Tranquility. I seem to be in a might fine shuck-buster of a predicament since I arrived back here.
I have this horrendous tattoo that I have been trying to get rid of.
I am wondering if anybody has any pointers.

I'll show you how horrendous it is! It's absolutely dreadful.

[ With that, he turns to the side and shows his arm. It looks something like this.
He might also be.. bending his elbow to flex it a little. With a forced smile, he speaks again. ]


I'll try anything to get this off! So for the sake of things pure and saint, don't be shy to give me some suggestions.
Regards.
 
 
10 April 2013 @ 09:26 pm
I have never been here before. I have no idea who any of you are right now.

Sorry

-Chell


[Private Text: Wheatley]

Not falling for your tricks again. Will punch you again if you try anything.
 
 
30 March 2013 @ 12:41 am
here have a cut for a long explanation as to where Gwen's been and what she's been up to! )

so when the video feed clicks on, she looks... okay, haggard is a strong word. but it's obvious she's worn herself out, her hair is a mess compared to the usual neat ponytail she wears in the labs, and she's surrounded by pieces of tech she's used to try and get a read on the hard drives. she props the camera up on something just ahead of her, so she has room to scroll through her iPad and use her free hand to show visuals ( oh yes, she has visuals ) on camera. ]

Hello, Tranquility. [ she waves ] I know it's still early yet, a month isn't a long time to search through labs that are as torn apart as the one we found a few weeks ago, but I was hoping to get in touch with anyone that's managed to pull some of the tech from those new labs. I remember someone - a man named Cambridge, yes? - made a request over the Network for people to find equipment he could look at in regards to the virus found on the computers down there - [ she might be flipping through her iPad until she finds her transcript for this transmission ( yes, she keeps transcripts of conversations she thinks might be important later, and here we are ) ] Yes! Right. I'm assuming some of you answered the request? So, I would love to discuss anything you might have found on those hard drives, especially if it looks anything like- [ she's reaching out to grab the text-book sized drive she found in the labs herself ] -this one. Um. [ okay all hard drives probably look the same if you're someone that hasn't been staring at a few for the past million days, oops ] I just mean, if you pulled them from any of the computers on the second floor of the genetics labs, specifically.

Because I've found something, but it's very obviously just a small piece of a much bigger file. [ much bigger discovery, but she doesn't want to seem like she's in over her head here. ] If you've found anything at all, any file that doesn't appear to be damaged or corrupted beyond saving, let me know. I definitely feel that we would benefit from aggregating our information, especially when it comes to something like this. It- It could open a lot of doors for us. When it comes to the original crew, of course. Maybe finding out what happened? This- This might make that possible, we just need to keep digging.

And if you've got the perseverance for finding more, let me know here as well. Peter and I can use all the help we can get trying to recover information from those labs, because I have no doubt we'll find our way back down there to look for more. So. Right!

-- Thank you!

[ here's a tired, ( but enthusiastic! ) Welcome-to-Oscorp! intern smile, then she's shutting off the feed. ]

[PRIVATE to TONY STARK ( OPR » 001 » 005 ), encrypted 100% ]

Are you busy? I need to show you this. Or- Look what I found. [ someone might be kind of exhausted and running on SCIENCE!!! adrenaline, so she's scrolling around her communicator so she can send him a file] It's safe, I promise, just a raw text file. I didn't want to show everyone else right away because - well, it doesn't look like much, does it? But look at it, there's- just look. [ oh my god please tell her to chill out ]

>>
>>FILE TRANSFER:
>>
>> PROJECT4241516PT1.EXE
>>


[PRIVATE to WHEATLEY ( SCI » 001 » 089 ) encrypted 100% ]

Hi. We've never actually spoken, but, I've noticed you spend a lot of time in the labs and I know this is possibly way too presumptuous of me, but I was hoping you might be able to assist me in further researching the tech down in the genetics lab. Or.. maybe just answering a few questions for me. Please. [ BIG SHEEPISH SMILE. ] If you have any interest in doing so, I mean. Of course. [ duh. way to go, Stacy. cool manners, bro. ]



[ ooc: SO. I was going to make a separate ooc post, but I realized it's pretty much all explained here, and shown here ( click on le file she sent to Tony to see what she found ). basically yeah, Gwen's got a tiny bit of metaplot of the info variety, but she has no idea what it means ( and neither do I ahhhhhh ), so she's basically just hoping someone else found something similar to it. yep! any questions, feel free to ping me about it, but the only info the mods actually sent me was that image, hahaha. and they let me know that it would take a shit-ton of work to get to that tiny piece of file, too. sneakysneaky ship trying to hide things!! -- if you're interested in having your character find another piece of the genetics experiment puzzle, contact the mods! :D ]
 
 
24 February 2013 @ 10:56 am
[This is that moment in a horror movie where comms just start going staticky like crazy and you're sure there's actual talking going on, but it's almost entirely garbled, either because of the mass panic of the person the other end or because it's plot convenient. WHO KNOWS. Either way, Topher's comm is doing a lot of static and the only thing that actually gets through in the haze is a single sentence.]

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░DID IT HAVE TO BE RATS?!


[Congrats, TQ. Now everyone knows of Topher's rodent problem. For the record, he's sequestered in a far corner of the genetics labs to avoid the rats and most of his shouting is telling people THERE ARE RODENTS HERE. GET THEM GET THEM. We can assume someone dragged him bodily out of the labs later, but for now? HE AIN'T MOVIN'. Or contributing.]
 
 
18 February 2013 @ 09:05 pm
[ The feed is mostly static and distortion, but between the noise there are brief glimpses of an empty hallway. He holds it steady for a while to make sure there's time for some picture to (hopefully) make it through, then swings it around to face a wall covered in what's probably an unfortunately familiar creepy mural.

There's a quick shot of Reaper when he turns it to face the wall, too, but otherwise he keeps it focused on the mural to make sure the image actually transmits. ]


This is Josh Le--ith Space Mari--

Lost in the ha--liar part of the ship. Do--ators.

Agai--the ship, don't--

[ Then it cuts out completely. ]

( ooc: Josh and Reaper are lost in the hallways and found a creepy picture, feel free to attempt to talk to either! Replies will be very sketchy. )
 
 
18 February 2013 @ 06:19 pm
[ Hey tranquility, hope everything is good on your end, because it sure isn’t on Ariadne’s end. Because she is pretty sure she has no idea where she is right now, and might be freaking out a little.

She would have locked this post to a few people that might have been wondering where she was, but her communicator seems to be having issues and she is just hoping this is at least viewable to someone. ]




I'm lost.




((ooc: obviously her communicator isn't getting a signal like it should, so all her replies will be very limited here. sorry about that.))
 
 
12 February 2013 @ 12:54 pm
[Yeah yeah it's this guy looking - what else - grumpy. Though this time he takes a moment to light his cigarette before reaching forward and speaking.]

Read that.

[And suddenly there's a ping with the oh-so-creatively named file gardens.txt on the screen. No other explanation is provided; he's pretty sure it's straightforward enough. No stupid shit, they deliver, and they're always taking applications. That business taken care of he gets to the point.]

Rest of Agriculture - wanna have a meeting in a few days. Three days from now, 15:00, tell me if ya can't be there.

[A second to smoke. Puff puff.]

The people I talked to couple jumps ago - first batch is cured an' ready, if you payed for it.

[Batch meaning tobacco, but he doesn't explain that either. The cigarette hanging from his mouth probably makes it obvious.]

---

[[ooc info about the Gardens is right over here for the curious. and to the department - totally going to handwave that meeting if that's cool]]
 
 
08 February 2013 @ 12:13 am
[ And on the end of this feed: Moran in all his muttonchopped glory, looking exceptionally grumpy. That is, grumpier than he normally looks. ]

My name is Sebastian Moran, number 008-155.

[ For the first time, he doesn't introduce himself as Colonel. As a matter of fact, almost none of what follows sounds like your typical Moran. It's terribly obvious that he's being puppetted through this, and if his Christopher Walken-esque performance prompts anything, there may, in fact, even be cue cards helping him along. ]

Prior to this jump, I made the absolutely idiotic mistake of firing a shot at one of them bleeding cleaning dev-- [ He shoots a doubtful look just off camera. ] A Roomba. I made the absolutely idiotic mistake of firing a shoot at a Roomba.

I've been punished for this with time in the brig, of course, but this is me issuing a much-needed public apology. I apologize for this violent act, and I apologize for being a moron in general. Moron is, after all, nearly my name. Chums.

[ Just before the feed flickers to black, there's a brief shot of him essentially facepalming. What is his poor life? ]