13 March 2014 @ 06:18 pm
[ ned, again, is full of bright smiles. he's been tinkering with the pie hole and all of its components for quite some time now, and he is pictured unfolding a giant pie display that he found in his locker. and while he's still weak from this jump, he's excited to get a move on. baking will bring him right back up to normalcy, he's convinced. ]

For those of you who are new, or who missed my last announcement -- this. This is the Pie Hole. And it is open right now and forever after. We could all use a little slice of home, in a galaxy far far away.

[ he's always wanted to say that, but the camera slips around the room. the furnishings are meager, but passable, and everything inside is painted a pleasant green, the lights that hang from the ceiling orange. ]

I've never run a business without-- [ fat stacks of cash? ] money, before, but. I think I've worked out a system so that no one feels. Er. So that no one feels as if they're getting something for nothing or nothing for something. It will be fair.

In any case! The Pie Hole is indeed up and running, so please stop in for a slice. Which is free. The first one, anyway.

[ he spins the pie display with a look of accomplishment and puts his hands on his hips.

a dog bark and a pig snort sound from somewhere behind him and digby dog and pigby pig are looking expectantly to the feed as it pans. ]

Oh, yes. Thank you. We are located adjacent to the Oxygen Gardens, under the pie crust overhang. [ it felt so good to say that again. ]

I'll see you soon, fellow Tranquilityzens. [ oop one more thing. ] And I'm Ned.

The pie maker.
[ ned addresses the feed nervously as always, but with a purpose today. the rest of you may be worried about a monster in your midst, but this posting has a much more mundane goal in mind. ]

As some of you might already know... I was--am? The pie, the proprietor of a pie eatery and bakeshop, my Pie Hole. I mean, the. The Pie Hole. In space. Not that it was ever in space before, but it will be. Now. In the present and space-oocupied moment. Presently. [ what. he clears his throat. ]

Chuck, for those of you who--who already know her. [ and now starting to get pink... ] My girlfriend. And, and myself will be taking pie orders whether it's a simple apple pie or a delicacy only found on your home world. I will do my best to replicate it here with our limited resources. And eventually, I do plan to have an established establishment with a full pie menu, as well as some possible... extras, as much as I regale myself as a self-proclaimed pie purist. Which I think, self-proclamation is the only way to actually be proclaimed in pie purity... Uhm. So. Requests.

[ he holds up a little board that says "22-09" with a bright smile. ] This is my number should you care to stop by or, call. What better time for pie than when we all are, surely, in great need of comfort. And what more comforting food could there be.

Oh! Before I forget. For those of you who might come from terrible places without pie? There will be a pie-tasting assuming we don't all die of heat-exhaustion or giant invisible monsters.

[ another bright smile before he disconnects! ]
02 January 2014 @ 01:08 pm
I am looking for a dog, or else a pup. Unwanted or unclaimed, though it should go without saying.

Some have expressed concern for their animals in this heat. Provide them with water and they ought not to grow dangerously hot. If they do, wet a cloth with lukewarm water and rub their skin.
01 January 2014 @ 09:21 pm

Humans! [ Good, now that he has your attention. ] There is a sickness aboard this vessel, a Dark Beast that harbours rot and the ruin of any that approach it. I, myself, suffered injuries that have now healed. It is a skilled foe that walks in shadow, a warrior of the forsaken. It does not bleed when wounded or hesitate to give harm and it will kill you, should you be fool enough to challenge it. Unless, of course, it decides to keep you alive for sport — those mortals who deliberately put themselves at risk do so at their own peril. If you believe you are strong, I am here to tell you that you are not. Keep your corpses to a minimum. 

Specifically: it carries a great chain that burns like embers, knows your mind and moves at incredible speed. Thranduil is aware of this demon, as are all those of Elvenkind aboard. 

[ Nuada, who brings the network this message from the corridors where he is patrolling, peers into the camera with wolflike gold eyes. You may have seen them around recently, instead belonging to one massive six-foot hound. ]

To those who are not human, I say this; stay with your brothers and sisters, send word over a secure line if any of you are attacked. All manner of Aes Sidhe, from my world or not, are my concern.

[ What else? His manner eases ever so slightly, as it is wont to do between comrades. ]

Loki — we must speak concerning the forging of your weapon. It is time to take up arms worthy of your skill, my friend.
29 December 2013 @ 03:33 pm
[ moz hasn't shown himself since his arrival; too busy doing other things to pay attention to the network, just like usual. not to mention, he's been pretending the heat means that he's back where he's supposed to be in the first place.

ohhh, the tropics. how he misses thee.

'There was nowhere to go but everywhere.' [ his tone is sing-songy, flamboyant, obviously a quotation. ] What he should've said, was everywhere but here. Not that i'm complaining about the heat - it's more like home then anything else around here has proven to be, once again, thus far. Even if it's a tad... cumbersome, it's most definitely manageable. And while i'm not dressed to impress, I certainly have the wardrobe to go with the ambiance.

And really- i'm just putting an all around notice out for all those people complaining about how we're being watched by something we just can't see. You should know that we're always being watched. Nothing's changed, you're just becoming more aware.

But despite all that, I never would've thought that i'd miss an extradition treaty so much. Even if i've seemingly returned to the tropics I so sadly thought i'd left- here I thought my Hawaiian shirts would lose their complete and utter rationality. One can only live vicariously through so many things however, and high temperatures and floral themed shirts can take a man just so far. Some country needs to work on a treaty with this place because for the first time in my life i'd go along with it somewhat happily.

[ SIGH. are you tired of his voice yet. ]

Everyone is supposed to keep on rolling under the stars but, you know, that particular image seems to have lost its appeal as of late.
21 September 2013 @ 12:24 pm
[First it’s just darkness, thick darkness, like inside a pocket or closed in a hand. Well, darkness and laughter, there’s a lot of laughter, and then the device swings around, and there’s--

Well, it’s James Potter, probably. James Potter, his head bowed a little under the set of stag antlers that have sprouted from his hair. It’s very natural-looking if you don’t know that he is usually a young antlerless wizard, and he doesn’t look very bothered. He actually seems to be the one doing a good amount of the laughing, his hands holding the base of each antler before he lifts his head back up, the tips just nearly scraping at the ceiling of the room.]

If I could get the hang of this it wouldn- [He tries to let go of the antlers, to balance under them, which only lasts for all of two seconds before his laughter throws him off-balance and he has to grab at them again to keep his head up-right.

If anyone’s paying close enough attention, they might notice a few things buzzing around in the background. They look almost like fireworks, but a closer inspection would show that they are actually miniature chinese dragons - about five of them - chasing their way around the room, setting off sparks as they go.]

Ooh, mate-- that’s a good look for you, that is, very-- dashing, noble-- you were born to be a stag--

[And Sirius turns his device around on himself, with a grin. His body modification is simple: violently pink hair, and he’s quite pleased with it, given the way he keeps reaching up to touch it, almost as if to make sure it’s really there.]

If anyone else is very bored with themselves--and you should be, you are all boring--we are happy to help with your appearance at least. Personalities, you’ll have to fix those for yourselves, good luck there, but we can at least improve your looks with-- pig’s snouts, or blue hair, if you don’t fancy pink--meant to be red, but--

[There’s a crash somewhere in the background and James’ laughter can be heard again - much louder than before, before a few whistles go off. Just your average background noise, of course.]

I mean, there’s no law that says don’t do magic under the influence of-- sleep, sleep deprivation, haha-- see, we were setting traps, Remus traps, so actually maybe don’t come up this way. Highly dangerous. [Not that he’s said just where up this way is, it could be anywhere.] Actually, I think we might have set off all of the traps ourselves--

Watch it!

[Sirius’ reflexes just happen to be perfectly timed, because right as he ducks a very large and possibly-on-fire object goes flying by his head and crashes into the wall behind him with a very loud smack. It sounds almost like what a pie would sound like, smashing up against the wall at very high speeds.]

Merlin’s-- [But the exclamation is cut off by a burst of renewed laughter from both of them, helpless and hysterical, as the device falls on the floor. This is definitely the point of the metaphorical sleepover where everyone is so tired everything becomes hilarious, and it’s amid all this chaos that the sound of a door sliding open breaks in… and Remus sighs. You don’t get the privilege of seeing him, you just get to hear his voice.]

Oh, hell.

[And the video cuts off.]

[this magic under the influence is brought to you by James & Sirius, with a very small guest appearance by Remus. expect replies and enchantments from any of the above!]
[ here's the thing: sleep deprivation makes idle whims seem like fantastic ideas-- and neal's not full up on self-control as it is, so two weeks of barely any sleep just raises great idea to best idea on his personal scale.

as such he's leaning against the wall behind his bed, pupils slightly blown. what is an intro he can't even. ]

Not we, my dear, you. I'm leaving you here.

You're what? Rhett, where are you going?

I'm going, my dear, to join the army.

[ his posture changes between; other than a few flat vowels slipping in as rhett, pushing for the accent seems a little too much and posture is good enough to convey the suggestion of gender, if you're careful. ]

Oh, you're joking. I could kill you for scaring me so.

I'm very serious, Scarlett. I'm going to join up with our brave lads in gray.

But they're running away.

Oh, no, they'll turn and make a last stand, if I know anything about them. And when they do, I'll be with them. I'm a little late, but better late than--

[ it's tricky to overlap your own voice, and his grimaces a little and shrugs as if apologizing for the lack of actual interruption in the scene. ( sleep deprivation or pretentiousness: the world may never know. ) ]

Rhett, you must be joking.

Selfish to the end, aren't you? Thinking of your own precious hide with never a thought for the noble cause. [ he yawns widely, skipping scarlett's line in the process. ] Why? Maybe it's because I've always had a weakness for lost causes, once they're really lost. Or maybe, maybe I'm ashamed of myself. Who knows?

[ he pauses, body language returning abruptly to his usual. ] I missed something, there. Anyway-- [ and back to the show. ]

You should die of shame to leave me here alone and helpless.

You, helpless? Heaven help the Yankees if they capture you. Now climb down here. I want to say goodbye.

[ that makes him pause, one that extends out into another jaw-cracking yawn and neal slumps down even more, almost prone now. ]

There's more, but it's really better with someone else.

[ and he's out. ]
19 September 2013 @ 11:24 pm
[Like the rest of you, this woman looks sleep deprived and possibly a little bit deranged. Her eyes are glassy, she seems a little fidgety, as though she's anxiously awaiting something. Anything. A few deep breaths, and she finally stops staring blankly forward and speaks.]

I have a very important question. Very. I'd appreciate any help you can provide.

[Another pause.]

What does "love" mean to you? And what does it feel like? Rapturous? Terrifying? It's a concept to me, nothing more. I've been curious, though. And now that we're all half-incapacitated and sharing things...

[Her attention span seems to weaken for a moment, and she looks away at the wall...]

Also, if anyone knows how to cook something manly, I'd like your help with that, as well.
18 September 2013 @ 12:28 pm
[ This is a face that hasn't appeared on the network for some time. The video comes on and Charles looks rather... Tired. He's propped the camera part of his desk. He has dark circles around his eyes. He has been fighting when dealing with it. He still looks very well put together, despite the obvious bags under his eyes. His hair is combed, he's clean. He isn't quiet for long once the video is on. He spins a black knight from his chess set in his fingers. ]

Loss - it is a complicated thing, isn't it? I've found myself losing track of time with the loss of sleep. Days keep...blending together.

It's left me plenty of time to think. I truly do miss Raven. I'm certain that she is doing something great back at home, whatever it may be.

[ He knows better than that, and his voice implies he does. It's a lot harder to maintain a mask when you haven't slept. He closes his eyes for a moment, there's something else he almost says, but he snaps his jaw shut. ]

I know it has been awhile since I've been on the network. For those who are newer, and those whom I haven't met - I'm Charles Xavier. I work in the Science Department.

It's been some time since I've made an offer for alcohol and a visit, so -- if anyone would like to stop by, let me know.
15 September 2013 @ 08:14 pm
[here's the thing with han; han doesn't like it when he tells people to do things and then they do the exact opposite. so while padmé IS DOING SOMETHING PADME ISH, han is just staring at her with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.]

What? [Compared to her usual, polite countenance it's a lot more direct- flat out impatient, a combination of exhaustion and present circumstances both. The things she's currently concerning herself with, happen to be fiddling with the feed device, and shifting the sleeping young preteen higher up on her hip, into a far more comfortable position. It's clear that despite her asking, she doesn't really care for the answer]

I'm not saying anything. Because if I had said something, then it would mean that it was perfectly normal for you to get lost in a ship.

[Not that he’s being extremely passive aggressive about this at all.]

You didn't have to. You were staring. [She's not even going to address the last part of this, because she's tired enough to stoop to his level in her own way] The way out, Mr. Solo?

Follow me, your Grace.

Don't call me that. [It's automatic. She’s gotten used to correcting him- And she's fast approaching the point she feels she should just start ignoring him. She will however, follow after him and direct her attention to the feed, you know- the whole reason she turned it on] Cat wandered into the ship, and- we got a little lost. My- [A pause, and she side eyes Han. Flatly] friend here, is going to get us to the main part of the ship. Whoever is responsible for her- If you would meet us there, I would be happy to return her to you.

Seriously, come pick up your kid.

Shut up! [A small, tired voice enters the picture, raising her head briefly off of Padmé's shoulder to address them both, before lowering it again, hand curled stubbornly around the woman's braid. A small trickle of blood appears over the curve of Arya's ear]
[here's a face that doesn't show itself very often. or, well. a voice, anyway. a bit tired, like most everyone is lately. (or maybe just tipsy.) and yet somehow airy and melancholic at the same time.]

..It is more than a year since I was first brought here. At that time I was not in my home world-- I had already been taken to another place. A dying city without death, where it was only ever night. Though I was only there a short time, I have seen a man die and return a week later, impaired but alive. [more quietly:] ..My last memory of the place is of having seen my friends dead, among many others, and myself leaving before I could be sure of their safety.

[and also killing someone. but that's a bag of cats he isn't touching this time. or ever.]

I was told in the City that I had been there before, yet I have no recollection of it. There are people here that I knew in the City, from my world and not, though those here do not remember being anywhere else.

What I mean to say, is.. to ask if this is a common occurrence. If there are others besides myself who have been to other places. I have wondered what powers could take us from worlds we have already been stolen to, how such a thing happens, what it might be that decides where we go next, if we are to go at all. And-- to apologize, I guess, to those I should have told this to, if it is a thing worth apologizing for.

[a hushed breath, and a moment of silence. when he speaks again, it's a little brighter, and lighter.]

There are drinks in the second floor of the gardens. Wine and honey mead, and tea. Neither will aid much in sleeping [he tried. a lot.] but may help calm the nerves, if nothing else.

[for those wishing to talk face-to-face, there is a table set up near the lift with a pot of tea, cups, a barrel of mead, and a flask of wine. legolas himself, however, seems to prefer lying on the ground looking up at the trees instead of sitting on chairs like a normal person.

(he is definitely just tipsy.)]
14 September 2013 @ 05:19 pm

Will eating a burnt cake make you sick?


[There is then a shot of the cake in question. You can see Chell in one of the kitchens as she arranges the screen to show off the burnt chocolate thing in a pan. Nope, doesn't look edible. She may try anyway. Because her cake.

No really this is important.]
13 September 2013 @ 12:20 pm
[The feed opens on a very green view of some dense shrubbery. It holds there for a second before panning to the right, where the greenery breaks at one of the many paths Agriculture have slowly been clearing through the overgrown jungle of the Oxygen Gardens' upper levels.

There's something blocking this particular path, though: an instrument that looks similar to a piano, but smaller and of a more ornate shape. It's clearly out of keeping with its surroundings, would look better maybe in someone's library or up on a stage (or in a museum), and quite how it got there can't be determined, the foliage around it completely undisturbed - but it hasn't been there long enough for any of the plants to encroach and start making it a fixed feature of the gardens. Yet.

The video stays there for a moment, giving the viewer a good look at the harpsichord, before Josias turns the comms to face himself, expression quietly amused. Then he cuts the feed, with the following text sent immediately after, obviously typed up in advance.]

As lovely as it is to see a real harpsichord in person, the gardens are hardly the proper place for it - for numerous reasons, least of all being damage to the instrument itself.

I'm assuming, given the way we tend to be delivered things from home, that this belongs to or has some significance to someone on board. If you could come claim it as quickly as possible, please. I'm sure we can even spare some staff to help you move it to a better location, if need be.

Thank you.
H-hi, it's. Is this...? This recording device is different than the one I -- had.

[ he clears his throat, he's pretty sure this is rolling so let's do this, TQ ]

Do I just say, 'The Tranquility?' Or is there some other name we like to be called? Tranquilities, perhaps. Or. Tranquilmen? People? Tranquil people. [ he shakes his head where is he going with this he's forgotten. ] Everyone needs... friends. Even in space. Even when we're all alone.

Maybe especially then. Now-- as it were. I know I was here before. Oh, I'm. I'm Ned. Some people call me 'The Piemaker.' I make pies. Obviously. And I'd like to, again.

[ god how he misses the pie hole. ]

If anyone knew me -- before. The other me, the ... him. That guy. I'd like to speak with them. [ he gives a little half-smile, his eyes crinkling. ] Or if you work in the kitchens. I'd.

I'd appreciate your input, either way.

Also, apparently I used to work at the bar... [ he's so not sure how that works. ned tilts his head and accidentally (or on purpose) hits the end button. ]
14 August 2013 @ 03:59 pm
[ stressed is robb's default these days, but normally when addressing the network he's made an effort to appear less so. not today. today he's solemn, as serious as he was when levying threats all those months ago. ]

There more pressing things to attend to aboard this ship, so I'll keep my address brief. My lady mother came aboard during the last jump. Her name is Catelyn Stark, and I ask your kindness in treatment of her.

[ at his side, grey wind moves restlessly, ears set back. robb's expression doesn't flicker. ]

And to bear in mind that she, like all of my family, is afforded the same protection as anyone else taken in by my House.

[ or basically, touch my momma and i'll knock you out, in westerosi speak. ]

And I thank you for your indulgence, and for you kindness. Our House will not forget such favors.

[ the north remembers. grey wind rises, giving himself a shake, and a brief smile flickers across robb's face as he cuts the feed. ]
We haven't had a jump that exciting in months. Smiley, a puddle of someone outside the medbay and a jump that felt a little different than normal. Almost makes me think that was just the start. I know, Tony, don't do the thing where you ruin the calm, but seriously, we're overdue for it. Personally, I vote for no pirates this time, but that may just be me and the residual annoyance of them.

[ this is so not actually what tony meant to open up with, but it's meant to sort of break the ice a little bit before he moves onto the important question. not to mention, maybe even pressing the issue of feeling weird after the jump was partially important to him. but details.]

Speaking of exciting jumps though. We all know that sometimes you get weird things from home and the like from the lockers on occasion. If you haven't, sucks to be you. [ a beat where tony takes a moment to take a drink of something. ] Show of hands, how many people got something that didn't look like it was from home, or seemed to just hop right over the bad line and into the territory of unpleasantness that may or may of not prompted you to scream what the fuck? Or whatever profanity you're fond of.

Don't be shy, I'll admit it, I found a shin bone in my locker and since I don't moonlight as a surgeon that cuts off limbs, that definitely shouldn't have been there. So, spill, satisfy my curiosity about this.
08 June 2013 @ 04:41 pm
Has anyone seen Beard-Me?


Pie Maker, that's not fair. You're not permitted for long pauses and pouty looks with those eyebrows. They just might crawl away and hide in a hole. ] I'm taking that uncomfortable silence as a 'no,' I don't think that ever means 'yes.'

[ Another pause, but he quickly catches with the stillness of it. He clears his throat. ] Say, knock knock...

[ Maybe a joke will help. ]

[Takeshi is near the front doors of the oxygen gardens, because some people would totally have a heatherfit if he were far off in the halls. Which he was, but shhh, we don't need to let Ned or Heather know that.]

Don't fight!!

Don't fight each other, there are real monsters to fight--don't fight pirates! Pirates, please don't fight, too! --why are we all not getting along? There are scary things we can stop together; we can give each other stuff. We can be really smart and not hurt each other!

[Huff--this is hopeless, but he hates how scared or angry people are. And if not those two, then too willing to fight people who could have easily been with them.

Hitting someone who hurts your friends, he gets. Hitting a monster, he gets.

But--when did it end up where you're enemies just because?]

I saw some of the pirates. They talked to me before. They talked to you, too! Some might be bad, but maybe they're not bad; maybe they're just playing the game, and they're scared of losing. They're just trying to get their points so they don't die. [What, that makes total sense. To him it does, anyway.]

I--maybe I can talk to them. Maybe we can talk and make this better. People're getting hurt.

And stealing is wrong. Stop stealing from us! Stop shooting stuff! Why're we fighting if we don't got any reason to fight? We're not monsters. Nobody's monsters. Why are we fighting when we're all not monsters??


We're all just people... 

... I don't get it...
31 January 2013 @ 10:10 am
Just in case anyone was wondering, I didn't grow a beard and I didn't acquire an alarming amount of sass.

[ That's a good way to start, Ned. ]

Face-alikes are as common as common can get around here, but I'm not one for big jokes. If the beard isn't a reliable tell, let it be his jokes. Here's a joke: Why did the chicken cross the road? [ Wait for it, wait for itttt... ] Not sure, I don't eat chicken.

PSA done, Pie Maker out.
25 November 2012 @ 10:52 pm
[ selinas been watching the network a great deal since she arrived (hasn’t everyone) and she can't help but wonder about few things that she has seen come up a few times - so it only seems right that she asks, right? (she could just be stirring the pot though, who knows.)

…anonymously of course]


These lists that I've seen mentioned, what makes these people on them so interesting and why them?

catcrypt viewable to: Bruce Wayne, John Blake and Stpehanie Brown )