puppydogeyes: (ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ | ᴄʟᴜᴍʙᴇʀ sᴘᴀɴɪᴇʟ)
36411- ᴛʏᴋᴇ × ᴛᴀʏʟᴏʀ ᴋᴇᴇ ([personal profile] puppydogeyes) wrote in [community profile] ataraxion2013-01-09 09:56 pm

NINE: video

[The room Taylor's sat in is dark, unidentifiable from the wall behind her, but soft, blue-tinged light from another source washes over her face intermittently. It highlights how drawn she looks, pale, tired. She's a mess, really. Even by Tranquility standards.]

It's January, right? Been counting on the jumps since I got here. [She isn't slurring as she speaks, but the lack of focus in her expression and sluggishness to her movements makes it clear she's inebriated to anyone who knows what to look for.] Guess it doesn't matter though. Just start calling them by numbers. I was meant to turn twenty in December. Be an instructor back at the Academy. [She frowns for a moment, taking a drink out of an unlabelled bottle.] Or maybe they'd have terminated me.

[Another pause, and she shifts off to the side for a moment, putting the bottle down. When she comes back into view she’s holding something else – a mask. Her mask, an mongrel canine face, beaten, bruised and bloody. She holds it up, hanging off the fingers of one hand.]

Turns out these show you ghosts. Hallucinations. Whatever. If that isn't fucked up enough to get you thinking don't touch them, you're a fucking idiot. [Very evidently angry, suddenly, half a snarl on her mouth. She looks at the mask again, then drops it to one side.] Didn't want to see my old man the little he was around, sure as fuck didn't want to see him here. Thing I've been thinking, though - what do you see, you wear someone else's?

[She doesn't hold the second mask up for the camera, but it's there in her hands, looks like a modern military gas mask. She's quiet for a long while, like she maybe forgot she even had the comms running, all of the anger and energy drained out of her again.]

Tommy's gone. Gone last jump. Told him he would, cause everyone goes. [A thin smile, strained, sad, and then gone again.] Guess I didn't wanna be right.
circumitus: Legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense. (we walked 2 miles)

[video]

[personal profile] circumitus 2013-01-09 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[Six years. It's been six years that Rey has spent in Between. She fell asleep, woke up three months later only to find that she never left her pod. Same thing happens again, only this time there's so much more to process. It's easy to forget, lose track of the time she's spent on the Tranquility and the time she might've already had. But it's been six long years, and she still remembers the feeling of the mask on her face. The hatred boiling to the brim with monstrous anger. And she won't touch it with a ten foot pole.]

I would say that you should get rid of that mask, though I've yet to get rid of mine. [It might still be on her door, actually. Rey hasn't gone back to her room in some time.]
circumitus: (hook me up with the drugs dog)

[video]

[personal profile] circumitus 2013-01-10 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
Should have. Some tried. Didn't work.

[Based on what she's seen in conversations over the network, anyway.]
circumitus: I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month. (i need an office)

[video]

[personal profile] circumitus 2013-01-10 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Sometimes, you can only do as much as you're intended to.

[Fatalist, thy name is Rey.]

Yes. I had requested to be confined for the duration of that month.
circumitus: ...and then i realized im still drunk. (thinking 'wow glad i'm not hungover')

[video]

[personal profile] circumitus 2013-01-11 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
Of course.

[Whether she agrees or not, Rey has her own reasons for thinking the way she does.]

Yes. Was not safe, otherwise. I tried to kill someone. [So casual.]
circumitus: I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients. (food confession)

[video]

[personal profile] circumitus 2013-01-13 08:38 am (UTC)(link)
Seems so. At first I thought I was about to lose my mind-- [again]

I believe it was the jump that sorted my head out, though I don't know if it was a solution or if it only temporarily delayed the inevitable.
circumitus: Just remembered. (i woke up in the shower this morning)

[video]

[personal profile] circumitus 2013-01-14 11:57 am (UTC)(link)
[Rey doesn't know what she was expecting.]

I can watch out for myself now. If I have to take responsibility for my own actions, I will do so.

[The last time she's asked someone to take her out for her when she went insane, it didn't end so well. It ended with a bullet in her own head and a lot of guilt weighed in afterwards with the gravity of what she'd done.]
circumitus: ...and then i realized im still drunk. (thinking 'wow glad i'm not hungover')

[video]

[personal profile] circumitus 2013-01-15 09:26 am (UTC)(link)
I understand. It's -- a habit, I suppose. People never like me much.

[For some cases, teamwork is a necessary element, even when most of her teammates never cared much for her presence. She is -- was the Salamander, something that sets fire to everything but never, ever burns. But unlike them, none of that means anything to the people here.

[Perhaps it's just what's in her wiring.]
circumitus: I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month. (i need an office)

[video]

[personal profile] circumitus 2013-01-16 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
Things should be different. Otherwise it gets lonely.

[It's not like her to think that, but she's spent a lot of time on her own, or when it's just her and her father helping her to pull through the worst part of her insanity.]
circumitus: I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month. (i need an office)

[video]

[personal profile] circumitus 2013-01-21 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
It isn't easy to know about much of anything now.

[If there was ever a time in which Rey could say "I know" when everything has always been so uncertain to her. Figures that she can't even offer any kind of consolation when she feels it may be necessary.]